The photo captured us in a moment of pure happiness, but I hadn’t shared it before. Why? Because I was seated. It was a side view. And because internalized weight bias still sneaks up, even for those of us who speak out against it.

That one image led me to reconnect with Debbie, a brilliant auctioneer, comedian, advocate, and all-around extraordinary human. We’ve known each other for over a decade, and reconnecting reminded me just how much I appreciate her authenticity, humor, and heart.

I invited Debbie on the show for an open, real conversation about aging, body image, sobriety, showing up authentically, and how we navigate all of it, especially as we grow older.

From Unexpected Divorce to the Comedy Stage

Debbie’s story is one of transformation through vulnerability. After working in the nonprofit world and staying home with her children, life took an unexpected turn with a sudden divorce. Searching for something to anchor herself, she tried stand-up comedy for the first time in 2013, and instantly fell in love.

While she didn’t love the late-night lifestyle of comedy clubs, she found her sweet spot in using humor for connection. This evolved into emceeing events and eventually becoming a licensed auctioneer, combining her passions for nonprofits, connection, and comedy.

Our Bodies, Our Biases—Even Our Own

That old photo sparked a deeper conversation between us. I’ve worked hard to unpack weight bias, and I fiercely advocate for body acceptance and autonomy. But even still, that side-angle photo made me pause.

Debbie, who exists in a smaller body, shared that she, too, has wrestled with body image, especially in midlife. She’s experienced changes in her body that have led her to reflect more deeply on how she feels in her skin.

“I have moments where I feel great and others where I just don’t like looking at my body,” she shared honestly. “Even though I have a partner who loves all of me, it’s still a very personal relationship—one that’s sometimes the most challenging.”

It’s a powerful reminder that body image struggles are not limited by size, and that as we age, our relationships with our bodies continue to evolve.

Aging, Ozempic, and What Doctors Don’t Ask

As we discussed how our bodies change with age (hello, perimenopause), Debbie shared her frustration with medical providers who quickly offer weight loss drugs without deeper conversations.

“I mentioned gaining weight, and the first response was, ‘Have you heard of Ozempic?’ No one asked how I feel in my body. No one asked about how I move or what my day-to-day looks like,” Debbie shared.

We talked about the broader implications of this—how normalized weight-loss medication has become, and the real harm of skipping over conversations about health, lifestyle, and well-being.

Debbie acknowledged that while these medications can be life-changing for some, the lack of nuance in how they’re offered is concerning.

As someone who champions body autonomy, I’ve felt torn too, supporting people’s choices while grieving how quickly society has shifted back to “smaller is better” narratives. It’s not about the medication itself; it’s about the pressure, the assumptions, and the loss of the progress we were making in fat acceptance and body liberation spaces.

Sobriety, Self-Acceptance & Showing Up

Another powerful part of our conversation was about sobriety. Debbie has been sober since 2018, and she shared openly about what it’s like to be a sober woman in her 50s, navigating social spaces that often revolve around alcohol.

“There’s this myth that the more people drink at fundraising events, the more they give,” she said. “But what actually builds connection is authenticity, not alcohol.”

We also talked about what it’s like to experience intimacy without alcohol, and the vulnerability that comes with truly showing up without a buffer. Her honesty was so refreshing—and a reminder that growth is often uncomfortable, but worth it.

Giving Thoughtful F*cks as We Age

One of my favorite moments was when Debbie said, “I meet people who say, ‘I give zero fcks.’ And I think that’s not it. The real gift of aging is being selective with the f*cks you give.”

That perfectly captures the heart of this episode. We talked about learning to care deeply—but intentionally. About stepping back from the need for constant approval. About honoring our bodies, energy, and boundaries as we grow older.

Safe Spaces, Advocacy & The Importance of Showing Up

We also talked about the very real fears many LGBTQIA+ people are experiencing right now. Debbie and her partner Wendy have had hard conversations about what it means to stay safe in today’s political climate—and how heartbreaking it is to see protections stripped away.

“I think one of the most powerful things we can do is just check in with our people,” Debbie said. “Ask if they’re okay. Ask how you can support them. And when it feels safe, speak up.”

Whether it’s offering sober-friendly spaces at events, creating inclusive healthcare environments, or just standing up for your friends, there’s always something we can do to make the world more compassionate.

Learning, Listening & Living Authentically

As we wrapped up, Debbie shared how much joy she gets from her work as an emcee and auctioneer, especially when she’s raising money for causes she cares about.

“I show up as authentically me,” she said. “And then I come home and sit on my porch in silence to recharge. That balance keeps me going.”

That authenticity, and her ability to navigate vulnerability with humor and heart, is exactly why I wanted to have her on the show, and why I’m so glad to share her voice with you.

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 237

Transcript happily provided upon

• Check out Debbie Scheer’s podcast: Aging with Pride
• Learn more about her work: Debbie Scheer Speaks

This episode is brought to you by the Size-Friendly Birth Course—an online training for birth and postpartum professionals ready to provide size-inclusive care for people in larger bodies.

You’ll get:

• 🎥 Over 6 hours of video lessons
• 📘 A 115-page editable PDF workbook with guided activities
• 🕒 6 contact hours for professional development
• 📜 A certificate of completion
• 🌐 Bonus: Access to the Plus Size Birth Circle—our exclusive online platform

The post Aging, Body Image & Real Talk with Comedian Debbie Scheer appeared first on Plus Mommy.

While tending bar, Mary was doing a lot of spoken word around Seattle. She talked about being Christian and queer from behind the mic and her struggles with the two intertwined. 

Hollis Wong-Wear, Mary’s friend in the Seattle poetry community, was a soundboard for Macklemore and Ryan Lewis for an album they were developing. And Hollis called Mary, sharing a writing opportunity for a song about gay marriage and the church for the album. 

Mary felt like this was the moment she was waiting for, to write about her Christian beliefs and queer identity – with a focus on love. And in about one hour, she wrote the chorus for the grammy-nominated song, “Same Love”!  

Yet, at the time, two months passed following her recording of the chorus, and she hadn’t heard from anyone. So, she assumed they had gone with someone else. 

And then she received an e-mail that changed her life forever. It wasn’t just her words selected for the song but her voice!

The year was 2012 before gay marriage had passed, and the song was a massive success but also caused controversy. As Mary left for tour with Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. She ensured her last will and testament were updated because there were protesters and death threats throughout the two years they toured. 

Mary knew she wanted to create meaningful and risky work that challenges the status quo.  And she did just that as a solo artist!

“She Keeps Me Warm” is a beautiful extension of the chorus Mary sang in “Same Love.” It dropped in 2013 and was very well received. 

And then there was the unforgettable Grammy performance of “Same Love” with Macklemore, Ryan Lewis, Madonna, and Queen Latifah!

Now known as a queer singer, Mary wanted to produce music that spoke to her fat activism and who she loves. So, in 2014, she dropped “Body Love,” a spoken-word piece Mary wrote years earlier when she was 19. It’s a vulnerable and profound statement about loving oneself. 

And then Secrets dropped, written, and produced to be the commercially successful pop song it became. It was also Mary sharing with the world that she has bipolar disorder. 

The song went Gold in 2015 and was on the pop charts, receiving a lot of positive feedback. 

And later that year, she stepped away from her record label after being pushed to the extremes. Mary chose her mental health and regained complete creative control of her work.  

Mary has gone on to produce music, publish poetry, co-host the podcast The Manic Episodes with her fiancé, and voice acting with her feature in Netflix’s I Love Arlo.

She’s currently orchestrating film scores, writing a book on body image, and is offering her Every Body Is a Baby course. 

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 170 & 234

Transcript happily provided upon request. 

Resources Mentioned On The Show:

• Learn about Mary’s upcoming shows via her website, subscribe to The Manic Episodes podcast, and learn more about the Every Body Is a Babe workshop.
• Connect with Mary on Instagram and all other social handles @marylambertsing

This episode is brought to you by the Size-Friendly Birth Course—an online training for birth and postpartum professionals ready to provide size-inclusive care for people in larger bodies.

You’ll get:

• 🎥 Over 6 hours of video lessons
• 📘 A 115-page editable PDF workbook with guided activities
• 🕒 6 contact hours for professional development
• 📜 A certificate of completion
• 🌐 Bonus: Access to the Plus Size Birth Circle—our exclusive online platform and mobile app for on-the-go learning and community support

Use code PLUSMOMMY for 20% off at plussizebirth.com!

The post From Same Love To Body Liberation With Mary Lambert appeared first on Plus Mommy.

This conversation is filled with laughter, tears, and the kind of raw honesty that makes you feel like you’re catching up with a dear friend. From childhood pain to Hollywood red carpets, Chrissy shares how she continues to show up, authentically and wholeheartedly.

From Little Girl with Big Dreams to Emmy-Nominated Actress

When Jen launched the Plus Mommy Podcast back in 2018, Chrissy Metz was one of her dream guests. And now, here she is.

“I’m literally just a regular girl…trying to figure out this life thing,” Chrissy says humbly in response to Jen’s excitement.

Chrissy believes in the power of putting your dreams out there and watching them manifest—something she’s done again and again, even when she had just 81 cents in her bank account before landing This Is Us.

Chrissy spoke candidly about her childhood, including growing up as a “sad little girl” navigating divorce, blended family dynamics, and feeling unseen. “If she was seen, it was that she was too much,” she reflects. But through it all, her grandmother—affectionately known as Gram—offered her love and spiritual guidance. “I really believe that things happen for us, not to us.”

Kate’s Story Was Her Story—And Ours Too

The impact of Chrissy’s role on This Is Us cannot be overstated, especially for those who had never seen a plus-size woman portrayed with such care and complexity.

“I’m a big girl, and I don’t see big girls represented,” Jen shares, reflecting on how much it meant to watch Kate’s storyline unfold.

From a powerful miscarriage storyline to navigating fertility and motherhood, Kate’s experiences mirrored the real lives of so many—especially plus size parents who have often felt overlooked or blamed. Jen shared a deeply emotional moment from a blog post she wrote, We Need To Talk About Kate’s This Is Us Plus Size Birth Story, during the show’s run:

“Kate’s loss was my loss, and once again, I felt seen. This Is Us writers gave plus-size loss moms a gift when they didn’t blame Kate’s miscarriage on her weight. Through my tears, I was cheering.”

Chrissy recalls the care that went into crafting that storyline. “There has to be a gentleness to it and compassion around it,” she says. She also shared how cathartic it was to portray a daughter loved unconditionally by her on-screen father, Jack—something she never experienced herself.

“Jack loved Kate in every single way… I never knew that kind of love, and certainly not from a father figure.”

Behind the Scenes: Healing, Humor, and Real Talk

Despite playing such an emotional role, Chrissy found moments of humor and healing behind the scenes. She shared how acting alongside Chris Sullivan (Toby) helped her push through moments of self-doubt: “He looked at me and said, ‘You can.’ And I did.”

Chrissy also talked about what it was like to go from being cast in roles like “Chunk the Cheerleader” to wearing a fat suit on American Horror Story—and how that impacted her relationship with her body.

“When I took off my costume, I was still the chubby girl. Still the big girl.”

It was both a mind trip and a powerful reminder that while others could remove their prosthetics, she was living her experience in real life.

But through it all, she held onto her dream of performing—and found her way back to music and writing.

On Writing, Faith, and Big Feelings

Chrissy’s latest children’s book, When I Talk to God, I Talk About Feelings, is a follow-up to her first book When I Talk to God, I Talk About You. Inspired by the emotional conversations she had with children during readings of her first book, Chrissy knew this second story had to focus on feelings.

“I didn’t feel heard or seen as a kid, so this is going to be very healing and cathartic for me.”

Co-authored by Bradley Collins and illustrated by Lisa Fields, the book features a diverse cast of animal characters and subtle nods to inclusion, reminding children that all feelings are valid—and that everyone is worthy of love.

Accompanying the book is a new album titled Big Feelings, where each song focuses on a different emotion. “We have a sad song, disappointed, mad, excited, happy… all as a way to help kids name and process their emotions.”

A Life of Authenticity and Grace

Throughout the conversation, Chrissy offers so many gems of wisdom. One story that stuck is when Chrissy made a mistake at the studio gate and felt the shame spiral begin. Instead of letting it eat at her, she turned the car around, went back, and apologized.

“That was a very big moment for me in my life… You don’t have to feel bad forever. You can fix things.”

When asked to share a final word of encouragement, Chrissy left us with this powerful reminder:

“Nothing is personal.”

“We don’t know what people are going through… When we remember that, we can offer more grace to others—and to ourselves.”

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 225

Transcript happily provided upon request.

Resources Mentioned On The Show

• Connect with Chrissy via her website, Instagram, and Facebook
• When I Talk to God, I Talk About Feelings
• Actor Jen Ponton Dishes About Dietland, Fat Activism, And More
• Freebie: We Can Do Hard Things: Audio Support for Your Appointments

This episode is brought to you by the Size-Friendly Birth Course—an online training for birth and postpartum professionals ready to provide size-inclusive care for people in larger bodies.

You’ll get:

• 🎥 Over 6 hours of video lessons
• 📘 A 115-page editable PDF workbook with guided activities
• 🕒 6 contact hours for professional development
• 📜 A certificate of completion
• 🌐 Bonus: Access to the Plus Size Birth Circle—our exclusive online platform and mobile app for on-the-go learning and community support

Use code PLUSMOMMY for 20% off at plussizebirth.com!

The post Chrissy Metz Talks Fame, Faith, and Finding Her Way appeared first on Plus Mommy.

Laurel highlights a crucial issue: the tradition of silence around menopause.

Many feel isolated, not realizing that their peers are experiencing similar changes. Laurel emphasizes the importance of breaking this silence and openly discussing perimenopause and menopause.

What is Perimenopause?

Perimenopause is the stage when the ovaries start producing less estrogen, leading to a decline in progesterone as well.

This hormonal shift can cause mood swings, sleep disturbances, menstrual changes, and changes in body fat distribution.

The average age for perimenopause onset in the United States is 42, and it can last around ten years.

Symptoms and Challenges

Common symptoms of perimenopause include:

• Mood swings
• Sleep disturbances
• Menstrual flooding
• Changes in body fat distribution
• Hot flashes and night sweats
• Brain fog
• Changes in the microbiome

Laurel also touches on the emotional and physical challenges, such as feeling like a teenager again with unpredictable periods and new physical changes.

Hormonal Testing and Support

Laurel advises finding a healthcare practitioner who can perform hormonal testing to get a comprehensive understanding of your hormonal levels.

This can help manage symptoms more effectively. She also mentions the Menopause Society, which certifies healthcare practitioners in menopause care.

The Role of Fat and Estrogen

Laurel explains that as estrogen levels decline, our bodies compensate by producing estrogen through adipose (fat) tissue around the abdomen.

This process is our body’s way of protecting us during this transitional phase. Understanding this can help reframe how we view changes in our bodies.

Nutrition and Lifestyle Adjustments

Nutrition and lifestyle play a significant role in managing perimenopause symptoms.

Laurel suggests focusing on fiber-rich foods, adjusting your diet based on your hormonal needs, and avoiding foods that may exacerbate symptoms.

Sleep is also crucial, as sleep disturbances can lead to increased cortisol levels and other health issues.

Importance of Professional Guidance

It’s essential to consult healthcare professionals who specialize in hormonal health and menopause.

Functional medicine practitioners and certified menopause healthcare providers can offer tailored advice and support.

The Positive Side of Perimenopause

Despite the challenges, Laurel encourages us to view perimenopause as a period of transformation.

As our brains remodel, we can experience a newfound freedom and creativity.

This phase allows us to reinvent ourselves and embrace new opportunities.

Perimenopause is a significant transition that brings physical and emotional changes. By breaking the silence, seeking professional guidance, and making informed lifestyle adjustments, we can navigate this phase with confidence and support.

Learn more from Laurel during episode 224 of the Plus Mommy Podcast.

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 224

Transcript happily provided upon request.

Resources Mentioned On The Show

• Everything You Want To Know About Plus Size Breastfeeding, episode 58 of the Plus Mommy Podcast
• Move, Thrive, Feel Alive: Peri/Menopause Support 
• For more information on Laurel’s work and resources, visit her on Facebook, Instagram, or website.

Laurel Wilson, IBCLC, RLC, INHC, CLE, CLD, CCCE, PPFE Wellness Advocate, International Speaker, Retreat Guide, and Transition Mentor Laurel is an international speaker, author, journeyer, traveler, wellness advocate, mother, wife, friend, and seeker.

She is a Certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach and a Certified Menopause Practitioner. Laurel has spent thirty years educating and supporting women throughout the various life cycles as a doula, lactation consultant, perinatal educator, speaker, author of best-selling books, yoga instructor, Camino travel guide, and wellness coach. She is interested in epigenetics, the microbiome, nutrition, and sleep.

During her experience in the transition time of life (perimenopause), she realized how many women feel estranged and wish for community AND answers during this time. This led to her desire to be a transition mentor and offer retreats to support women experiencing this incredible and challenging life change. She enjoys writing books, speaking at conferences on perinatal and women’s health issues, consulting, training the healthcare community on women’s health issues, and serving on maternal child health boards. You can often find her hiking, meditating, mountain biking, kayaking, taking road trips, and reading women’s travel books, spiritual books, and historical biographies.

The post Perimenopause: What’s Happening to My Body and Why? appeared first on Plus Mommy.

As a content creator focused on plus size pregnancy and body positivity for over a decade, I’ve grown a Facebook page to 231,000 followers. Additionally, my Instagram pages for my @plusmommy and @plussizebirth communities are followed by tens of thousands.

I became Meta Verified to help protect my accounts following an incident in 2022 when a photo, which you’ll see below, was flagged for being inappropriate for children.

My AI Size Discrimination Story

A stock photo featuring a mom and her kid exercising, which I proudly used as the cover for my Plus Mommy Facebook page, got incorrectly flagged for nudity.

It’s my understanding that this was due to artificial intelligence (AI) flagging the amount of skin the mom shows in her sports bra.

After my Facebook and Instagram accounts were unjustly banned, I challenged the decision via the appeals process.

I also reached out to connections I was fortunate enough to have made at a Meta event. They initiated a ticket for an actual human to examine my photo and confirm there was nothing inappropriate about it.

Even with direct support, resolving the issue took 24 grueling days during my peak season as a full-time content creator. The emotional and financial strain was significant.

When I was reinstated without any explanation, I requested a conversation with Meta to address the AI size discrimination issue.

I didn’t receive a reply, and a year passed by.

On November 30th, 2023, I shared moments of joy on my @plusmommy Instagram in a two-piece bathing suit, celebrating my birthday at a hot springs.

Below are the three images I shared to encourage my community to focus on self-care.

It never crossed my mind that these photos could be seen as inappropriate.

Far more skin is showcased daily on Facebook and Instagram by those in smaller bodies. I don’t even need to provide examples to make that point.

On December 4th, I was blindsided by a notification of a suspension from Meta.

Shockingly, once I logged onto Instagram I was provided with no avenue to challenge the suspension.

Despite having Meta Verification on both my Instagram and Facebook accounts, which I assumed would protect my content or at least allow me to reach out directly to a Meta representative in these scenarios, I found myself entirely locked out.

Ironically, the only way I could find to initiate a chat for Meta Verified users is through the apps. But since Meta has blocked me from Instagram and my personal Facebook page, I’m unable to use this feature.

Essentially, I’m paying for a service that I’m barred from accessing, and that’s simply unjust.

My only page to remain active was my Plus Mommy Facebook page because I have admin, but I didn’t have any access.

So, twelve years of nurturing online communities and pouring my heart into my role as a full-time blogger and podcaster all seemingly erased in an instant.

Why? For being fat!

I believe that, once again, AI is to blame for my ban.

Having more skin as a person in a larger body doesn’t equate to inappropriateness or a breach of Meta’s policies.

In fact, Meta has stated a dedication to “Fairness and Inclusion” as one of its five pillars of responsible AI.

The pledge that “everyone should be treated fairly” and that their products “should work equally well for all people” is undermined by instances where the AI wrongfully penalizes plus size individuals for having more skin.

Challenging AI Size Discrimination

The issue of AI and its perception of larger bodies is not a new challenge in the realm of social media and technology.

In my opinion, for years, individuals in larger bodies have faced unjust scrutiny and bias from AI algorithms, often leading to unwarranted flagging or censoring of their content.

This issue goes beyond mere technical glitches; it touches on deeper societal biases that these algorithms, perhaps inadvertently, perpetuate.

However, change is on the horizon!

Thanks to the tireless efforts of fat advocates like Tigress Osborn, Chair of NAAFA, Pinterest has announced an industry-first body type technology to enhance body representation on its platform.

This move by Pinterest sets a precedent for other tech giants, including Meta. If Pinterest can innovate to better represent and respect diverse body types, Meta has the capacity and responsibility to improve its AI algorithms.

By addressing the issue of AI size discrimination, Meta can align its technology with the inclusive values it professes, ensuring that all users, regardless of body size, are treated fairly and respectfully.

Simultaneously, it’s crucial they continue to protect the community from truly inappropriate images.

This is not just an opportunity for Meta to rectify a flaw but also to lead in the realm of digital inclusivity and fairness.

As a small business owner, being banned once more was devastating. And I know I’m not the only content creator being impacted.

Thankfully, a Meta contact responded to my desperate pleas for support and got a ticket opened.

On December 6th, I was informed the team had reviewed my request and determined the account was incorrectly disabled.

I received an apology for any inconvenience.

While I’m relieved, reinstatement alone won’t fix the underlying problem—I’ll continually fear future bans.

I need your support in raising awareness to combat AI size discrimination.

Let’s make a change together!

Five ways you can get involved: 

Contact Meta: Use these steps to report a problem with Facebook. I also encourage Meta Verified people to use the chat feature to raise awareness of AI size discrimination. 

Please share any effective options for contacting Meta in the comments of this article. 

Support Affected Individuals: Amplify the voices of those affected by AI size discrimination by sharing their stories and content, like this article my Instagram reel below.

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A post shared by Jen McLellan (@plusmommy)

Participate in Online Forums and Discussions: Engage in conversations on platforms like Reddit, LinkedIn, or specialized tech forums.

Media Outreach: Reach out to journalists or bloggers who cover tech and social issues, suggesting they report on AI size discrimination.

Support Advocacy Groups: Donate to organizations or groups that advocate for people in larger bodies like NAAFA and ASDAH.

Thank you for your support! Our collective voice can bring about meaningful change.

Update: On December 6th, I successfully regained access to my @plusmommy Instagram account, and regained access to all my other accounts on December 13th. This positive outcome was made possible thanks to the direct intervention of a contact at Meta. Without their assistance, I would have faced the loss of my accounts with no opportunity to challenge what was unjust suspension. I have requested my contact at Meta to relay my concerns higher up in the company. Moving forward, I am committed to raising awareness and addressing the issue of AI size discrimination.

The post An Open Letter to Meta, End AI Size Discrimination appeared first on Plus Mommy.

Please start by reading our 15 hard-earned lessons, as they might just echo your own experiences!

Then, tune into our latest podcast episode, where we dissect these truths, bare our souls, and share the kind of stories that life’s composed of — unfiltered and upfront.

15 Lessons of Love from a Plus Size Couple

1. The Role of Humor

Laughter has been our refuge, our connector, our shared language in the best and worst of times. It’s the undercurrent that’s kept us sane and bonded.

2. Get Vulnerable

Transparency, in fear and love, has been our fortress. We’ve learned that in showing our authentic selves, our relationship has only solidified.

3. Body Positivity Journey

We’ve navigated the murky waters of societal beauty norms and chosen to set our own standards. It’s a journey of self-love and mutual appreciation, and it’s ongoing.

4. Unified Parenting

It’s us against the whirlwind of raising humans. We’ve clung to consistency, support, and a united front, even when the storm seemed unending…or really stinky now that we have a teenager.

5. Handling External Pressures and Opinions

We’ve countered stares, unsolicited opinions, and biases, especially as a plus size couple. Our armor? Unwavering respect and support for each other.

6. Navigating Financial Ups and Downs

Money matters, and so does how you handle it. We’ve weathered financial storms by staying informed, prepared, and, above all, open with each other. Crucially, we’ve learned that maintaining a savings account, even with the smallest safety net of funds, can be a financial buoy during unexpected storms.

7. Facing Health Challenges

From skin cancer to vision struggles, we’ve been each other’s rock through health scares, providing strength and advocacy when the other needed it most.

8. Mental Health Realities

We recognized our mental health as a critical piece of our family puzzle. Open dialogue, support, and getting help when needed has only made us closer and stronger.

9. Dealing with Loss

Grief reshaped us, and together we found ways to endure, honor, and continue forward by giving one another time while also having open communication.

10. Adapting to Change

We’ve taken life’s curveballs — relocations, career changes, personal evolutions — and turned them into our shared adventure.

11. Conflict Resolution

Disagreements are inevitable, but we learned to argue effectively, keeping the problem at the forefront and our relationship at the core.

12. Keeping Romance Alive

Romance flourishes with self-love, acceptance, and honesty. As we’ve embraced our bodies and our truths, we’ve seen our love story deepen and grow.

Carving out time for each other has been the cornerstone of maintaining our intimacy. Whether it’s seizing the opportunity for day-dates while our kid is at school or orchestrating those rare but special getaways, we’ve learned to cherish and maximize every moment we share.

13. Maintain Individual Identities

Our separate interests and personal spaces aren’t a divide; they’re a crucial part of our shared journey.

14. Friendship at the Core

Our love story has friendship at its core, a base that has kept us anchored in ourselves and each other.

15. Sagging Gracefully Together

Aging isn’t just growing older; it’s collecting stories, laugh lines, and memories. Together, we’re embracing each new chapter, whether it brings crow’s feet or silver strands, celebrating them as badges of a life well-shared.

Now, dive into this intimate conversation with us. It’s not just about sharing our narrative as a plus-size couple; it’s about connecting with a story — our story — that could very well be yours. No pretenses, just life as we know it.

But before pressing play, we want to thank Pechanga Resort Casino for making our 15th wedding anniversary nothing short of magical! Every moment at this incredible place was everything we needed, from the delectable meals to the serene hours by the pool and even the thrill of the slots. What stood out most, though, was the thoughtful, size-inclusive environment. The little things—comfortable seating everywhere we went, the spa anticipating our needs with 5XL robes—made all the difference. We felt seen, respected, and valued. Pechanga isn’t just a resort; it’s a haven where every body is celebrated. To all the plus size couples out there: add Pechanga in Temecula, CA, to your must-visit list. Trust us; it’s the getaway you deserve.

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Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 211

Transcript happily provided upon request.

Resources Mentioned On The Show

• Resources and quiz for size-friendly birth professionals!
• Helpful Tips for Flying while Fat
• Will My Doctor Fat-Shame Me? 4 Game-Changing Advocacy Tips

The post Plus Size Couple Unscripted: Lessons from 15 Years of Love appeared first on Plus Mommy.

Weight bias becomes evident when healthcare providers excessively focus on a patient’s weight, overshadowing the primary purpose of their visit.

During a doctor’s visit for an eye infection, 71-year-old Kathryn was taken aback as the doctor focused on her weight. He even went as far as suggesting that she would be an ideal candidate for weight loss surgery.

Experiencing Weight Bias at the Doctor’s Office

Kathryn visited the doctor for an eye infection, expecting a quick and straightforward visit. However, things unexpectedly changed when the doctor immediately brought up her weight before even examining her eye.

This doctor questioned whether her primary care physician adequately supported her weight loss efforts. In response, Kathryn shared how she had successfully implemented healthy lifestyle changes over two years, leading to notable yet steady weight loss. She also expressed how this transformation had immensely benefited her and her husband.

Despite Kathryn’s objections, the doctor persisted in recommending weight loss surgery or medications, boasting about his position as the head of weight loss for all of Southern California under her HMO.

Kathryn felt unheard, as the doctor seemed more focused on promoting his approach rather than considering her overall health or the purpose of her visit. Despite sharing her past experiences with other programs offered by the HMO, which resulted in short-term weight loss followed by weight regain, the doctor didn’t appear to take those experiences into account.

Finally, she had enough and directed his attention to her eye infection.

Despite the doctor’s thorough examination, Kathryn remains unconvinced of his diagnosis and is also concerned about the safety of the ointment he recommended for use around her eye.

Throughout the appointment, she felt unheard and disrespected when she asked him to refrain from discussing weight loss interventions, and he kept pushing. Weeks have passed since Kathryn had this appointment, yet she thinks about it daily.

The Impact of Weight Bias

Weight bias in healthcare can profoundly affect a patient’s emotional well-being and willingness to seek routine health care.

Even if the doctor had given Kathryn helpful recommendations, individuals often tend to shut down and ignore the advice when they’ve experienced shaming from their healthcare providers. Such negative encounters can make it challenging for them to remain open to further guidance, regardless of its potential value.

In fact, research indicates that those who feel shame are less inclined to seek routine healthcare and more likely to experience weight gain.

Advocacy Strategies When Confronted with Weight Bias in Healthcare

Here’s how Kathryn intends to advocate for herself moving forward, and these are tips you might find helpful, too.

Clear Communication

In future appointments, Kathryn plans to request that her medical chart include a note indicating that she does not wish to discuss weight loss surgery or weight loss medications. Nor does she ever want to see that doctor again. 

Focus on the Main Concern

She will prioritize discussing her primary health concerns first, redirecting the conversation immediately to any issue requiring attention.

Being Weighed is Optional, Not Required

If a future appointment does not require weight measurement, as most don’t, Kathryn knows she has the right to decline to step on the scale. 

Reducing Stress

To ensure accurate blood pressure readings, if it’s elevated at the start of her appointment, Kathryn will request to have her blood pressure checked at the end. This will give her sufficient time to relax and speak with her healthcare provider.

Decompress

Lastly, Kathryn takes proactive steps to fully decompress and prevent this traumatic experience from lingering within her. She accomplishes this by confiding in loved ones and sharing what happened with her primary care provider. Additionally, she may choose to send an email to the care provider who caused distress, and she might even consider contacting customer support to file a report about the incident. By taking these measures, she strives to release the burden of the experience and be better prepared for possible future encounters.

Healthcare providers must recognize and address weight bias, ensuring all patients receive the best possible care, free from judgment and stigma.

Kathryn’s experience sheds light on addressing weight bias in healthcare and advocating for patient-centered care. And she hopes to inspire others to be more assertive in seeking the care they deserve. 

Don’t miss Kathryn sharing her story in her own words during episode 210 of the Plus Mommy Podcast. As the mother of Jen McLellan, the podcast’s host, she brings a unique perspective and personal insights to the conversation.

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 210

Transcript happily provided upon request.

Resources Mentioned On The Show

• Will My Doctor Fat-Shame Me? 4 Game-Changing Advocacy Tips
• Truth About Diets and Weight Loss Drugs with Ragen Chastain

The post Navigating Weight Bias at the Doctor’s Office: A Personal Account appeared first on Plus Mommy.

She delves into why diets often fail, examines the harm of weight loss medications, and uncovers shocking truths surrounding the American Academy of Pediatrics’ push for weight loss medication and surgery for children.

Get ready to question and transform your beliefs about weight loss.

What is Health At Every Size®?

Health at Every Size® (HAES®), the Association for Size, Diversity, and Health branded trademark, promotes weight-neutral health.

This approach emphasizes that health-supportive behaviors are more beneficial and less risky than weight loss attempts. HAES® advocates for individual health and a world free from barriers, where everyone has access to healthcare.

It focuses on combating social issues like racism instead of focusing solely on individual responsibility. This evidence-based movement aims to enhance access to health and healthcare, addressing social determinants of health and challenging the current focus on weight as a public health issue.

My doctor tells me I need to lose weight for my health, but I don’t know if he’s right.

Research, often funded by the weight loss industry, suggests a correlation between higher weight and certain health issues. However, assuming that weight is solely to blame for these issues is an oversimplification and not scientifically sound.

Correlation does not imply causation, and it’s important to consider confounding variables.

As a responsible researcher, you would explore other factors that could contribute to or cause the health issue observed in higher-weight individuals. For instance, improper blood pressure measurement techniques or the effects of weight stigma and weight cycling (yo-yo dieting) are also correlated with these health issues.

Unfortunately, many studies overlook or fail to control crucial factors such as testing bias, weight stigma, weight cycling, and healthcare disparities. Consequently, these studies inaccurately promote weight loss as the sole solution.

How can I overcome my deeply ingrained belief that weight loss is necessary for me?

The research, spanning over 100 years, consistently demonstrates the failure of intentional weight loss. Studies reveal that most individuals who attempt intentional weight loss regain the weight in the long term.

The weight loss industry capitalizes on this cycle, taking credit for initial weight loss while shifting blame to individuals for regaining the weight.

Our bodies have a biological response to weight loss, where metabolism slows down, hunger signals increase, fullness signals decrease, and type two muscle is lost. This physiological adaptation turns the body into a weight-regaining machine.

Weight cycling, the repeated loss and regain of weight, is not benign and is linked to increased inflammation, mortality, and health issues associated with body size.

Additionally, weight stigma is a real and pervasive issue, affecting every aspect of a person’s life. The belief that stigmatized individuals should change themselves to escape discrimination is inherently wrong.

Loving oneself cannot overcome systemic oppression, and fighting weight stigma on behalf of our bodies is a more productive approach.

What about if my mobility is being impacted by my weight? 

When addressing mobility, it’s crucial to acknowledge the reality of ableism and the intersectionality of multiple marginalized identities.

It’s important to recognize the complexities involved and not gloss over them when aiming to cultivate a healthy and peaceful relationship with our bodies. Barriers, such as difficulty finding suitable mobility devices with higher weight limits or increased costs, further compound the challenges.

In terms of increasing mobility, considering the evidence-based approach can be helpful. One option to explore is starting with a mobility device, such as a scooter if needed. It’s unfortunate that mobility devices are often stigmatized as a last resort. This contributs to internalized ableism and the fear of encountering ableism from others.

By focusing on immediate solutions, like finding a device that enhances mobility and allows for activities with loved ones, the path towards improved mobility can be initiated without reliance on weight loss.

It’s common for people to believe that weight loss is necessary for health or improved mobility. However, statistically, attempting weight loss yields a 95% chance of short-term weight loss. Followed by long-term weight regain, with up to a 66% chance of gaining back more weight than initially lost.

As Ragen Chastain says, if body size is viewed as the problem, attempting weight loss is statistically the least effective solution and often leads to weight gain.

The encouraging news is that regardless of body size, individuals can work on aspects such as strength, flexibility, and stamina. Thin people can also experience similar mobility challenges, demonstrating that weight loss is not the only path to improvement.

Even if weight contributes to mobility issues, it doesn’t make weight loss any more likely to succeed.

Everyone is talking about weight loss drugs, and I don’t know if I should believe the hype. 

Individuals have body autonomy and can make choices regarding their bodies, such as dyeing hair or trying diet drugs. However, being informed about the research surrounding these choices is essential.

Regarding weight loss drugs, one example is liraglutide (Victoza or Saxenda), initially approved for diabetes treatment. The weight loss industry uses research that correlates higher weight with health issues to justify these drugs’ risks and side effects.

Novo Nordisk, the manufacturer of liraglutide, has a history of aggressive marketing and price gouging on insulin.

The drugs may benefit diabetes control. But it has a boxed warning for risks such as thyroid tumors and organ damage. Common side effects include gastrointestinal distress. While short-term weight loss occurs, it often accompanies flu-like symptoms.

Long-term studies show weight regain, with people losing two-thirds of their initial cardio-metabolic benefits within a year of stopping the drug. Novo Nordisk’s profit-oriented solution involves lifelong drug dependence.

The Obesity Action Coalition and The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) receive funding from Novo Nordisk. This raises concerns about conflicts of interest, espically with the recent AAP guidelines endorsing weight loss drugs.

It’s essential to recognize financial interests and understand the risks and limitations of weight loss medications.

Is the AAP’s push for weight loss medication and surgery for children an evidence-based recommendation? 

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) practice guidelines include health and behavioral lifestyle treatment starting at two years old, weight loss drugs at 12, and surgeries at 13. However, a closer examination reveals major flaws in their approach, and cited research fails to support their recommendations!

Most of the studies they reference are conducted on adults, not children. The surgical recommendations for children are based on a small number of kids. And most studies use data from the same 81 children.

The potential eating disorder symptoms caused by restriction, frequent weighing, and the side effects of drugs and surgeries are alarming. It’s absurd to claim that pediatric weight management programs decrease eating disorder risk. Many reputable eating disorder organizations have voiced opposition to these guidelines.

Parents facing these guidelines may find it helpful to request literature for review, or consider a second opinion. They can do this before making any decisions. Explicitly stating not to discuss weight or BMI in front of their child can protect them from potential shaming.

When discussing weight loss surgery, it’s essential to recognize that these interventions turn a healthy functioning digestive system into a lifelong disease state.

Understanding the limitations and potential risks associated with intentional weight loss is crucial. It highlights the importance of examining research, questioning societal norms and stigmas, and advocating for body autonomy and respect.

Learn more during episode 208 of the Plus Mommy Podcast with special guest Ragen Chastain.

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 208

Transcript happily provided upon request.

Resources Mentioned On The Show

• NPR article – Lifesaving or stigmatizing? Parents wrestle with obesity treatment options for kids
• Connect with Ragen via Weight and Healthcare and HAES Health Sheets. And via @ragenchastain on social media.
• Ragen’s headshots by Lindley Ashline.

Ragen Chastain is a speaker, writer, researcher, Board Certified Patient Advocate, and multi-certified health and fitness professional. She’s a thought leader in weight science, weight stigma, health, and healthcare. Ragen lives in LA with her fiancée Julianne and their adorable dog.

The post The Truth About Diets and Weight Loss Drugs with Ragen Chastain appeared first on Plus Mommy.

Plus size fitness instructor and the founder of Body Positive Barre, Natalie Sanders, shares her top tips for starting or continuing your movement journey, finding size-friendly fitness instructors, and embracing body positivity along the way.

What is the concept of joyful movement?

Joyful movement is about finding pleasure in physical activity, not just viewing it as a chore or a tool for calorie burn.

Every type of motion involves physical engagement! This includes taking a leisurely stroll, enjoying a gentle swim, or participating in calming yoga, including chair yoga. Even tasks like mowing the lawn or tidying up the house contribute to movement.

Embrace the pleasure of physical activity without feeling pressured to make it overly strenuous or demanding.

What are the first steps toward improving strength and mobility?

Improving strength and mobility starts with small, manageable actions – like getting up and down from the floor and then incorporating movement into your daily routine.

To prevent routine movement from becoming a chore:

1. Think about ways to make it fun.
2. If you find it challenging to get up and down without assistance, don’t hesitate to use tools like a chair to make the process easier.
3. Remember, there’s no room for shame in this journey; instead, embrace the resources that aid your progress.

How to find size-friendly fitness instructors for in-person classes?

Social media can be a great first step when hunting for size-friendly fitness instructors.

Search for “body-positive” or “fat-friendly” groups on Facebook in your local area. These communities offer the perfect platform for plus size folks to connect with size-friendly fitness instructors, care providers, nutritionists, and much more!

And if there isn’t a fat-friendly Facebook group in your area already, why not start your own?

Beyond social media, you can do a Google search for size-friendly or Health At Every Size ® informed fitness instructors or fitness classes in your area.

Although some mainstream gyms, such as Planet Fitness, advertise themselves as offering judgment-free zones, their environments may not consistently reflect this inclusive ethos.

Local recreational centers and YMCAs tend to be more inclusive.

How can I feel confident in a new fitness class?

Entering a new fitness class can be daunting. Giving yourself grace is essential, and understanding that it’s okay not to get everything right in the first class.

When engaging with prospective instructors, feel free to inquire about their teaching philosophy, approach to accommodating various body sizes, and whether they incorporate inclusive language and don’t focus on weight loss. And you can reach out long before attending your first class!

Familiarize yourself with the instructor’s teaching style and cadence, and be patient with your progress.

The goal is to get to know how your body feels and responds under different forms of stress, and to extend your comfort zone gradually.

It’s also about celebrating small victories, such as being able to do a move for a bit longer or improving your balance. Remember, it’s not about perfection, but about progression.

By taking these proactive steps, you can identify fitness instructors who prioritize inclusivity, creating a welcoming and supportive environment for your fitness journey.

How can I find size-friendly fitness instructors for online classes?

Social media, once again, proves its immense value. An increasing number of size-inclusive fitness instructors are making their presence known, and we’re here for it!

With the right searches, you will likely find an instructor who understands and supports your fitness journey.

You can also Google, as suggested above, and ask your community for suggestions.

Which body positivity fitness hashtags should I follow?

There are many hashtags to explore, but the following is a great starting place:

#bodypositivefitness

#fatfitness

#fatpositive

#fatpositivefitness.

By following these hashtags, you’ll connect with inspiring creators and plus size athletes like Meg Boggs and champion powerlifter Becci Holcomb.

What essentials do I need for working out at home?

Let’s keep things simple! All you need is a cozy, comfortable space where you feel safe. Also, keep things like pillows or dish towels handy for additional comfort or padding during exercises.

You can build and add light weights, a yoga mat, and other tools from there.

Your comfort and well-being are paramount when engaging in any exercise. Don’t hesitate to communicate with your instructor if you experience discomfort or pain during a workout. They can provide modifications or alternative exercises to ensure your safety and enjoyment.

Similarly, you can keep your camera on or off in virtual fitness classes. Don’t feel pressured to turn it on if it doesn’t align with your comfort level. This journey is about empowering you to feel confident and joyful in movement, so prioritize your needs and comfort above all else.

Congratulations on taking the first steps toward incorporating joyful movement into your daily routine. Embracing activities that bring you genuine happiness enhances your strength and mobility.

Remember to seek out size-friendly fitness instructors who create inclusive spaces, both in-person and online, where you can feel supported and celebrated.

As you embark on this empowering journey, always remember to love and appreciate your incredible body. You’ve got this!

Learn more about fitness for all from plus size fitness Natalie Sanders during episode 207 of the Plus Mommy Podcast. She also discusses her specialty, Barre Fitness, which combines ballet, Pilates, and strength training elements. Inspired by the movements performed by ballet dancers at the barre, this fitness style focuses on small, controlled, and repetitive movements that target specific muscle groups, particularly in the legs, core, and glutes.

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 207

Transcript happily provided upon request.

Resources Mentioned On The Show

• Connect with Natalie Sanders via her website and Instagram.

I am intentionally trained in a weight-neutral style and offer many modifications to make Barre accessible for all bodies. I am building a community through online Body Positive Barre Classes where you are welcome to come as you are and to find joy in the low-impact, strength-building movement that Barre offers. And I understand what challenges people in fat bodies face in traditional fitness spaces, and I’m so excited to provide an accessible Barre group fitness class for all bodies.

Thank you to our sponsor:

Our friends at Aeroflow Breastpumps are the sponsor of this week’s episode. Aeroflow Breastpumps is our go-to partner in ensuring moms get top-notch breast pumps, milk storage bags, breastfeeding prep courses, and more for little to no cost through insurance.

They have a fantastic range of highly-rated breast pumps from brands like Medela, Spectra, and Motif. All you need to do is complete a straightforward insurance eligibility form, and they’ll take care of the rest. Easy, peasy!

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The post Fitness for All: How to Find Joy in Movement appeared first on Plus Mommy.

Dark mafia romance author Meaghan Pierce discusses the need for more plus size heroines and plus size romance novels. In addition, she delves into a conversation about how representation leads to stronger self-advocacy and unpacking of internalized fat-phobia.

The Need for Plus Size Romance Novels

Romance novels transport readers into captivating love stories. And at some point, while flipping through thousands of titillating pages, everyone wants to see themselves represented.

In a world where societal beauty standards often exclude those who do not conform to a narrow ideal, plus size romance novels offer a refreshing and empowering perspective.

These novels challenge stereotypes and promote body positivity by featuring plus size heroines. In addition, they send a powerful message that love and desire are not confined to a specific body type but are universal experiences!

Mafia Romance Author Meaghan Pierce

Meaghan Pierce believes the portrayal of plus size heroines in romance novels help to break down harmful stereotypes and misconceptions.

Plus size people have hot sex and don’t constantly obsess over their weight! But many fat characters in books come across in very self-deprecating ways.

Plus size romance novels create a new narrative!

As Meaghan shares, “If we can suspend reality, for dragons, and, you know, a fae and mafia people who don’t get arrested, then surely, we can also put in a plus sized character who’s not constantly obsessing about their weight.”

For Meaghan, her journey to writing plus size heroines has come from working hard to address her internalized fat phobia.

“Realize that a lot of the stuff that you know about your body is either not true or is so deeply ingrained that it has taken a lifetime for you to learn those things.”

She found helpful insights from resources like the podcast Maintenance Phase and going to therapy.

Now Meaghan thoughtfully writes romance novels with plus size characters that she’s proud of and sees a piece of herself within the pages.

Listen as author Meagah shares her story during episode 202 of the Plus Mommy Podcast.

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 202

Transcript happily provided upon request.

Resources Mentioned On The Show

• Connect with Meaghan Pierce and learn more about her books via her website, TikTok and Instagram.

Meaghan Pierce is a dark mafia romance author who published her first book in March 2022. She loves her heroes morally gray and her heroines strong and feisty. If given a chance, she’ll fall in love with the villain every time. When she isn’t getting lost between the pages of a book, you can find her in West Michigan enjoying a cup of hot cocoa, a good drama on TV, and kitty snuggles.

The post Representation in Plus Size Romance Novels with Meaghan Pierce appeared first on Plus Mommy.