Parenting a teenager is a journey filled with love, growth, awkward moments, and unexpected emotional turns. As children grow into adolescents, the role of a parent evolves in ways that are both beautiful and heartbreaking. These are seven things I’ve learned, often the hard way, since entering this new chapter of motherhood.

1. Parenting a Teen Can Feel Isolating

In the early years, parenting often came with a built-in support system.

I was surrounded by friends who were also new moms, and we shared everything from breastfeeding tips to sleepless nights. We were deeply connected, and nothing felt off-limits.

But as our kids have grown, so has the silence.

With respect for my son’s privacy, I share less about my motherhood journey now, and that shift has brought me an unexpected loneliness.

It’s not that I still don’t have close friends or fellow moms I trust; it’s that some of the things I’m navigating now feel too private to share, even with them.

I find myself walking a tightrope between needing support and honoring my son’s growing independence. And that balance? It’s isolating in a way I never anticipated.

2. The Snuggles Don’t Last Forever

There was a time when I was showered in hugs and endless affection. These days, I’m lucky if I get a quick side hug.

As a parent, I’m proud of the way we’ve chosen to raise our son—especially around body autonomy and consent. From a young age, we taught that “stop” means stop, even during tickle fights. We encouraged him to trust his own boundaries and to respect others’. Now that he’s older, hugs aren’t a given anymore. I ask, “May I have a hug?” And sometimes the answer is no.

And while that stings, I remind myself: his “no” is not rejection—it’s agency.

Sure, there are moments when I miss those spontaneous snuggles so much it hurts. But raising a child who feels safe saying no, even to me, is far more important than my want for a hug.

3. Body Stuff Gets Awkward

The truth is, the body changes of adolescence bring up a lot—for them and for us.

I’ve stumbled through conversations about hygiene, hair care, and even deodorant, trying to strike the right tone.

I want to be supportive, not critical. But sometimes my words land wrong. What I meant as a helpful reminder comes across as judgment. And while I’m trying to keep the lines of communication open, I’ve learned that how I say something matters just as much as what I say.

And then there are the bigger conversations—about puberty, consent, attraction. I’ve always wanted to be the kind of parent my child could talk to about anything, and I think we’ve built a solid foundation. But that doesn’t mean these moments aren’t still awkward. They are. Sometimes painfully so.

But I’d rather wade through that discomfort than say nothing at all.

4. Diet Culture Still Sneaks In

We’ve tried to raise our son in a body-positive home. No food shaming. No diet talk.

We model acceptance and prioritize joyful movement over weight loss goals. And yet, harmful messages still sneak in—through media, peers, even well-meaning adults.

It’s frustrating to watch. And heartbreaking. I know what it’s like to grow up with body shame, and I’ve done so much work to unpack that for myself. But it’s still hard to know how to protect him when the world around him hasn’t changed much.

Sometimes, I find myself questioning everything, especially when old thought patterns try to creep back in. But I remind myself that I’m not just parenting him, I’m still reparenting myself. And doing both at once requires a lot of grace.

5. Car Rides = Connection

I’ve come to treasure our time in the car. It’s one of the few places where my teen opens up without prompting. Maybe it’s the lack of eye contact or the safety of being side by side. Whatever it is, it works.

Some of our best conversations happen during the short drive to school or running errands. I’ve learned not to force it. Just be there, ready to listen when he decides to talk.

Sometimes he surprises me with something big. Other times, it’s small stuff. But I’ve found that what matters most is simply showing up for the conversation—whatever it may be.

6. You’re Going to Mourn the Version of Who They Used to Be While Celebrating Who They Are Becoming

I miss the days of bedtime songs and little hands in mine. I miss being his safe place…his favorite person.

And yet, there’s something so powerful about watching him become who he is now. He’s sharp, insightful, hilarious, and growing more and more independent. The pride I feel watching him advocate for himself or light up talking about a new interest is unlike anything else.

It’s complicated. I can hold joy and grief at the same time. I can long for the past while feeling genuine excitement about the young adult he’s becoming.

If you’re in this phase, you’re not doing it wrong by missing what once was. Letting go of the little version of your child doesn’t make you any less present for who they are now. In fact, it might just help you love them even better.

It’s okay to miss your little buddy. It’s okay to grieve the days when you were their whole world. Missing that doesn’t mean you aren’t showing up for who they are now. It just means you loved that version of them deeply, too.

7. They Still Need You, Just Differently

No more tying shoes or bedtime stories. Now, he needs rides, reminders, and someone sitting quietly beside him without demanding conversation.

He needs space, safety, freedom, and guidance.

Sometimes, he’ll talk my ear off about anime. Other times, I’m lucky if I get a head nod. But when he needs me, really needs me, I try to show up.

It doesn’t always look like it used to, but the need is still there.

Even if they don’t ask for help the way they used to, the need is still there. It just looks different now—less obvious, more layered. Stick around. Be the steady presence in the background. It matters more than they’ll ever say out loud.

You’re doing a great job (even if it doesn’t feel like it).

Go even deeper and feel far less alone by tuning into this episode of the Plus Mommy Podcast!

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 229

Transcript happily provided upon request.

• Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture by Virginia Sole-Smith
• Dieting Does Not Work – Talking To A Dietitian About Food
• We Can Do Hard Things Audio Support

The post 7 Things I Wish I Knew Before My Kid Became a Teen appeared first on Plus Mommy.

Parenting can be a whirlwind, especially when faced with the unique challenges of raising children with behavioral issues, sensory needs, or neurodivergent traits. 

To shed light on this topic, I recently had the pleasure of interviewing Dana Abraham. 

The Four Key Ingredients of Calm the Chaos

Dana Abraham has finetuned her Calm the Chaos framework, which revolves around four essential ingredients, which she likens to the basic elements needed to bake a cake. These ingredients are:

You: This focuses on the parent’s mindset and self-care. Dana stresses that parents must take care of their own mental and emotional well-being to effectively support their children.

Connection: Building a genuine, empathetic relationship with your child is crucial. This involves showing up consistently in a way that makes the child feel seen, heard, and valued.

Understanding: Parents need to delve deeper into the reasons behind their child’s behavior. This includes recognizing sensory needs, emotional triggers, and skill gaps.

Empowerment: Collaborating with children to build skills, solve problems, and set up effective systems is essential for long-term success.

These ingredients form the foundation of a flexible, adaptable approach that can be tailored to each family’s unique circumstances.

Practical Strategies for Everyday Parenting

Throughout our conversation, Dana shared numerous practical strategies for implementing the Calm the Chaos framework. 

One critical point she made was the importance of connection in everyday moments, not just during dedicated quality time.

“It’s how you show up in a situation. It’s what you say, it’s what your body language is saying,” Dana noted. 

Simple actions like being present, listening actively, and engaging in meaningful interactions can make a significant difference.

Dana also highlighted the need for parents to create a safe environment where children can express their emotions without fear of punishment. 

This involves setting clear boundaries and providing consistent support while addressing underlying issues collaboratively.

Understanding Sensory Needs

One of the key insights Dana emphasizes is the importance of understanding sensory needs and preferences. 

Sensory processing can significantly impact a child’s behavior and daily experiences. 

For example, some children may have strong aversions to certain textures or sounds, while others might seek out intense sensory input.

Recognizing and accommodating these needs can help reduce stress and create a more supportive environment for children.

Parenting is an ongoing journey filled with highs and lows. 

By focusing on connection, understanding, and empowerment, parents can create a supportive environment that fosters growth and positive change for their children and themselves.

Learn even more during this informative interview with Dana during episode 216 of the Plus Mommy Podcast.

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 216

Transcript happily provided upon request.

Resources Mentioned On The Show

• Connect with Dana Abraham and get a free chapter of her book via her website and Instagram.

Dayna Abraham has become a trusted and proven leader in the parenting community. She is the founder of the popular parenting site ‘Lemon Lime Adventures’ which has accumulated over 41 million viewers in less than seven years. She is also the CEO of Calm the Chaos, a seven-figure company which offers Dayna’s compassionate framework to support thousands of parents worldwide.

The post Helpful Parenting Tips to Calm the Chaos with Dayna Abraham appeared first on Plus Mommy.

How do you help parents avoid projecting their issues with food onto their children?

Many parents want to break the cycle they experienced growing up. It’s crucial to approach this with self-compassion. 

We were raised in diet culture, and those messages are deeply ingrained. 

During high-stress times, it’s easy to default to familiar phrases and behaviors. 

Acknowledging this and striving for progress rather than perfection is key. Open communication and empathy are essential. 

Discussing body changes and normalizing these conversations can create a supportive environment for your children.

Teens and parents can both experience hormonal changes at the same time. How can this be a perfect opportunity for connection?

It’s a unique time when both parents and teens might be going through hormonal changes together (hello, perimenopause). Instead of seeing it as a challenge, it can be a perfect opportunity for connection. 

Normalizing body changes, like needing new clothes or dealing with acne, can open up important conversations. 

For example, you might say, “It’s time to go through our clothes for the new season. I’ve got some pants that don’t fit anymore. How about you?” 

This normalizes body changes and can lead to deeper discussions about how all bodies keep changing. 

By addressing these topics openly, we can create a supportive environment where teens feel comfortable discussing their own changes.

How will the AAP guidelines impact efforts to help kids foster a healthy relationship with food and body image?

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) now recommends, along with therapy, that doctors offer weight loss drugs to adolescents with a high BMI starting at age 12 and evaluate those 13 and older with a high BMI for bariatric surgery.

It’s a challenging time. The AAP guidelines have made pediatrician’s offices even less safe for kids in larger bodies. 

We need to approach this with a mix of education and advocacy. 

Parents need to know that even within these guidelines, doctors need to ask permission to discuss weight.

Advocating for your child might involve setting clear boundaries with medical providers and educating them on the risks associated with discussing weight and body size.

What are some strategies for parents to set boundaries with medical providers?

Pre-written letters or scripts can be very effective. 

There are great resources available that provide templates for communicating with healthcare providers. 

Another key aspect is self-care. 

Parents should find what helps them feel empowered and prepared to advocate for their children. This could be a supportive community, specific strategies for managing stress, or even wearing an outfit that boosts their confidence.

Also be sure to do some good decompression and self-care after these appointments and find community support. 

How can we encourage adolescents to eat a variety of foods without creating a sense of restriction or fear?

It’s about balance and offering a variety of foods. 

Kids’ energy needs are high, and carbohydrates are a body’s energy source. 

Avoiding restrictive behaviors and instead focusing on providing diverse options helps them learn to trust their bodies. 

Engaging teens in meal planning can also empower them to make balanced choices. The goal is to foster a positive relationship with food and ensure they feel safe and supported.

What signs of disordered eating should we look out for in kids, and how can we address them?

It’s essential to maintain open communication and seek professional help if needed. 

Look for changes in eating habits, body image concerns, or signs of distress around food. 

Resources from dietitians and organizations focused on eating disorders can provide valuable guidance. 

Remember, it’s never too late to repair and rebuild a positive food environment for your child.

Learn even more from Oona during episode 214 of the Plus Mommy Podcast on how to raise kids to have a healthy relationship with food. 

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 214

Transcript happily provided upon request.

Resources Mentioned On The Show

• Connect with Oona via her website, Instagram, and Substack.
• The Truth About Diets and Weight Loss Drugs with Ragen Chastain
• Sunny Side Up Nutrition

Oona Hanson, an educator, writer, and parenting coach with over 25 years of experience. Oona helps parents raise kids with a healthy relationship with food and their body, supporting families through eating disorder treatment and prevention. Her work has been featured on CNN, USA Today, and Good Morning America. She lives in Los Angeles and is the mother of two.

The post How to Raise Kids to Have a Healthy Relationship with Food appeared first on Plus Mommy.

As a Black, queer woman, she championed much-needed conversations about racial inequities in the Health At Every Size® and Intuitive Eating communities.

Jessica takes a stand against the American Academy of Pediatrics new guidelines on kids’ weight. She engages in a compelling discussion about the intricate connections between racism and diet culture.

Special Guest Jessica Wilson MS., RD,

When Jessica first became a dietitian in 2006, the focus was calories in and calories out. 

Over the next five years, she embarked on a journey of unlearning and self-discovery, eventually finding her place in the Health At Every Size® (HAES) community. 

Through this newfound connection, Jessica helped to write the first principles around social justice and inclusivity within the HAES movement! 

She says, “It’s white supremacy, not diet culture, that makes us feel the way we do about our bodies.” 

In 2016 she took a needed break.

By 2019, she was thrust back into the intersection of diet culture and white supremacy at an eating disorder conference. A moment she talks about in her book, It’s Always Been Ours: Rewriting the Story of Black Women’s Bodies.

Her book, which came out in 2023, delves into stories surrounding Black women’s bodies, shedding light on how whiteness influences their narratives. She uncovers the deep connection between diet culture and racism. And exposes the damaging effects of these combined forces on the lives and well-being of Black individuals. 

Jessica emphasizes that dismantling diet culture alone isn’t enough to ensure the safety and well-being of Black and trans people.

American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) New Guidelines

Jessica Wilson’s voice joined many enraged when the AAP created guidelines surrounding kids and weight in 2023.

People in the eating disorder field and concerned parents frantically took to social media to share their opinions.  

These guidelines include early proactive treatment for children as young as two. In addition, weight loss drugs can be prescribed for kids 12 and older, and weight loss surgery for kids 13 and up. 

Shockingly there is no strong evidence to back the APP’s guidelines that kids as young as two should have early lifestyle interventions. 

For Jessica, this all came back to the pursuit of thinness and its ties to the pursuit of whiteness!

Dive deeper into this needed conversation during episode 203 of the Plus Mommy Podcast. 

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 203

Transcript happily provided upon request.

Resources Mentioned On The Show

• Connect with Jessica Wilson and learn more about her book via her website, TikTok and Instagram.

Jessica Wilson(she/her) is a clinical dietitian, consultant, and author. In 2020 she co-created the viral Amplify Melanated Voices challenge. Since then she has been featured on ABC Prime Time News, public radio shows, podcasts, and in print media. Her book It’s Always Been Ours; Rewriting the Story of Black Women’s Bodies, was published in 2023 in the US and UK. She is an eating disorder expert and widely recognized for her work on addressing weight stigma in the care of queer and trans patients.

The post Jessica Wilson Takes on The AAP, Diet Culture, and Racism appeared first on Plus Mommy.

Bonnie helped pave the way for postpartum images like the one below to be proudly shared all over the internet.

The Story Behind The Shape Of A Mother

Bonnie always expected to get stretchmarks during pregnancy, as they appeared during puberty. But she didn’t think stretchmarks would spread from her shoulders to her toes.

And nothing prepared her for how her belly sagged after she had her second child.

In the early 2000s, Bonnie didn’t see images online of postpartum bellies like hers. While Facebook was a popular social media site, people weren’t sharing images of their postpartum bodies as they do today.

One fateful day, while out to eat with her family, she noticed a woman’s postpartum belly that looked a lot like hers. This prompted Bonnie to talk with friends about their bodies after having babies.

One of her friends shared an image of their bottom covered in stretch marks. When Bonnie saw the picture, she felt less alone and knew other mothers needed to feel the same way.

So, in 2006, Bonnie launched the website “The Shape of a Mother.”

As Bonnie shares on her website, “It is my dream, then, to create this website where women of all ages, shapes, sizes, and nationalities can share images of their bodies so it will no longer be secret. So we can finally see what women really look like sans airbrushes and plastic surgery.” 

Within a week of launching, “The Shape of a Mother” went viral, and Bonnie’s inbox was flooded with photo submissions.

Celebrating All Postpartum Bodies

Bonnie’s site currently holds over 2,500 images and heartfelt stories of people sharing (and celebrating) their postpartum bodies.

Over the years, her website traffic has slowed as many other resources are available. But it’s incredible to know that hers was the first website to normalize the strength and beauty of postpartum bodies.

Bonnie loves seeing how the conversation around postpartum bodies has shifted. She’s clear that her work isn’t just for cis women; it’s for all postpartum people!

Tune in as Bonnie shares her story and wisdom about body image during episode 195 of the Plus Mommy Podcast.

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 195

Transcript happily provided upon request.

Resources Mentioned On The Show

• Connect with Bonnie via her website, Facebook, or Instagram.
• Support The Shape of a Mother via Patreon.

Bonnianne Ratliff is an autistic activist committed to intersectional feminism. She is a single mom to two teenagers in Southern California. Bonnie graduated from San Diego State University in 2018 with a degree in English and a minor in Women’s Studies. She started The Shape of a Mother in July of 2006 because she saw that there was a distinct lack of representation of realistic postpartum bodies in the media at the time. Bonnianne also uses the site as a platform to educate about feminism and related topics through her series on Badass Bitches From History and her educational info posts and flyers. In her free time, Bonnianne likes to play Animal Crossing way too much or give her teens a cultural education by making them watch old John Hughes movies.

The post The Shape Of A Mother – A Conversation About Postpartum Bodies appeared first on Plus Mommy.

We need to address how social media platforms view larger bodies! ⁠Far too often plus size creators are not only reported for showing more skin because we exist in larger bodies but also bullied continuously. ⁠
⁠
I also hope my experience reminds everyone that we don’t own social media – so make sure you have contact info for those you love. ⁠I sincerely apologize to the community that this happened – I missed you all so much. ⁠

11/30 Update: I’m finally in touch with someone at Meta, and a ticket has been opened as of 11/30. But sadly, no resolution as you read this. I’ll continue to update this post.

On November 18th, I woke up to the alert below from Facebook with no access to my Facebook or Instagram communities. This includes my Plus Mommy Facebook community I’ve spent over a decade growing to 225K, over 37K on Instagram, and Plus Size Birth had over 25K on Instagram and 10K on Facebook.

Upon further discovery, I learned my Facebook cover photo for my Plus Mommy page was mass reported for something I’d NEVER DO! This is a photo I’ve had live on my page since January.

Below is the photo in question; as you can see, there’s nothing inappropriate about this image. It’s a stock photo I felt perfectly displayed my Plus Mommy brand – a plus size mom doing yoga with her daughter.

As a plus size creator with a large following, I get attacked often. The only other thing I can think of is I made a political post on my personal Facebook page that might’ve insight an attack against me – either way – it was reported for something it isn’t. And now, a community I’ve spent over a decade building and my family’s livelihood are at risk. 

I know the normal procedure is to file an appeal, but no matter what I do, I can’t get Facebook to send me the code to appeal or accept my form.

So, I’m doing anything I can think of to raise awareness of what is happening in hopes someone can help reinstate my communities. You can also report to Instagram that my @plusmommy and @plussizebirth accounts were removed for the wrong reason.

Thank you for reading and helping to spread the word.

Jen McLellan

jen@plusmommy.com

The post Plus Mommy Update & Call For Help appeared first on Plus Mommy.

In 2008, during the height of mommy blogging years, Jill launched an authentic voice for millions of moms, Scary Mommy. Now in her 40s, Jill’s back with the She’s Got Issues podcast!

If you became a mom between 2007 – 2018, you likely came across Jill Smokler’s work.

As the founder of Scary Mommy, Jill’s blog and social media outlets reached millions of moms struggling to feel “good enough.”

Scary Mommy helped moms find solidarity and community. And a safe space to say, “being a mom is hard, but I love my kids.”

Her new podcast, She’s Got Issues, picks up where Scary Mommy left off to support middle-aged moms with authentic conversations and genuine support.

Jill Smokler’s book Confessions of a Scary Mommy: An Honest and Irreverent Look at Motherhood – The Good, The Bad, and the Scary came out in 2012. And during this interview, I asked Jill to reflect on things she wrote during those early motherhood years.

We have a raw conversation about motherhood, body image, and fertility. And, through Jill’s vulnerability, she helps us all feel less alone. And she reminds us that it’s okay to be a little scary.

After all, we’ve all got issues!

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 184

Transcript happily provided upon request.

Resources Mentioned On The Show

• Connect with Jill Smokler via the She’s Got Issues podcast and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.
• Jen McLellan’s episode on She’s Got Issues.

Jill Smokler is a New York Times bestselling author and entrepreneur who became an authentic voice for millions of imperfect moms through her Webby award-winning blog, Scary Mommy. 

Jill returns with She’s Got Issues – a podcast for Gen X women focusing on the myriad issues uniting them, especially the ones we don’t open up about enough and really, really need to.

The post Jill Smokler Has Issues, And She’s Unafraid To Talk About It appeared first on Plus Mommy.

Here are five helpful tips for bringing fantastic people into your family’s life!

How To Make Friends With Other Moms

Here are five steps for making mom friends, and the first one might surprise you!

1. Get Prepared For Making Mom Friends 

Many articles about how to make mom friends start by sharing places to meet other moms.

And while that’s a big piece to the making mom friends puzzle, it’s not the first place to start, in my opinion.

I’d encourage you to start by asking yourself the questions below!

Am I ready to make new friends? 

You’re tapping into this information, so the answer is likely YES! However, this is still a helpful question if you’re searching for quality mom friendships. 

If you’re in a tough spot emotionally, financially, or otherwise, you might want to wait before trying to develop new friendships. 

By no means does your life need to look picture-perfect! For example, if you’re going through a hardship like a divorce, you can make wonderful friendships with fellow moms walking in your shoes. And Facebook groups for divorced moms are a good starting place. 

But if you feel like your life is crumbling around you, it might not be the best time to try and attract the right type of people into your world. So, fix anything significant with the support of your tried-and-true friends and family.

Do I have time for new friends?

Once you’ve established you’re ready to make new friends; it’s time to make sure you can fit them into your busy life.

While this might start to sound like I’m giving you dating advice, you’re not that far off. Any relationship takes time and effort to flourish.

So, pull up your calendar and see where you have spots available for future friendship dates.

What are my friendship nonnegotiables? 

Yup, we’re going here – because it’s essential!

Inviting people from all walks of life into your bubble is beautiful! However, there are some core values you’ll want to be aligned with – especially if these people will spend time around your children.

As a plus size mom, I don’t want fatphobic people in my life. So I don’t want to be friends with people who are always talking about dieting and making me feel ashamed of my body. But I’d love a walking buddy who doesn’t mind meeting me at my slower pace!

See the difference?

I don’t want anyone who is racist, sexist, or homophobic in my family’s life regularly. Unfortunately, it can sometimes be challenging to assess these things during a few playdates. So I’m always keeping an ear out and hoping for the best, but unafraid to end unhealthy friendships.

So, think about what type of people you want to attract into your life. Of course, you can be an acquaintance with anyone, but know without a doubt what values you won’t compromise on when letting someone into your bubble.

What does my social media say about me? 

Like it or not, prospective mom friends will scope out your social media to see if you’re someone they’d like to get to know or not. And you should do the same! 

The content you shared on social media five years ago might not align with your current values. And while you might assume no one sees anything you shared years ago, social media is forever! 

For example, while most people have private Facebook pages and think their content is pretty locked down, there’s still a public view. So, you know that one meme on Facebook you’d never share currently but did in the past? It might appear in your feed if marked public. 

You can follow these steps from Facebook to see your public view, and anything marked “public” and not “friends” will pop up. Yes, even possibly things from years ago. 

And don’t just look at Facebook; spend time on all of your social media outlets. Ask yourself, “would I want to be friends with this person?”

Now, you sure don’t want to curate your feed to represent you as someone you’re not – but you can do a little housecleaning. 

And while you’re looking at your social media, give yourself a Google, too! 

2. How To Make Mom Friends In Your Area Or Online 

Technically you can make a new mom friend pretty much anywhere. But the odds of a two-minute conversation in the checkout lane at your grocery store turning into a flourishing friendship is slim. So, below you’ll see popular options for meeting your new mom bestie. 

Before we begin, by all means, please don’t walk away from meeting a prospective new friend without asking for their contact information. So, that’s another reason why you’ll want to audit your social media before searching for a new best friend. It’s often easier to ask if someone is on Facebook or Instagram rather than asking for their phone number. 

Okay, now that we’ve established that you won’t depart from making a great connection without a way actually to connect, let’s proceed. 

Social Media 

These days, social media is one of the most common places we build and sustain friendships – and there’s nothing wrong with that!

Social media makes connecting with like-minded individuals easy by joining groups like “Attachment Parents” for those who like the attachment parenting philosophy.

So, after establishing your friendship nonnegotiables, consider what parenting groups you’d like to join (bonus points if they are local).

Once you join a group, the more you engage, the higher the odds you’ll hit a friendship jackpot.

Kid’s School/Activities 

It’s fantastic to get our kids engaged with activities. But while you’re taking photos for the grandparents or catching up on social media – put down the phone and look around. See if you spot another solo mom looking for some company. 

Another option is to volunteer with whatever activities your kids are involved with or at their school. You’ll make more connections this way and have opportunities to develop friendships. Plus, it feels good to be a volunteer. 

The following might not be a popular opinion, but I encourage you to say yes to any birthday party invites! Depending on the age of your children, many people drop the kiddos off and enjoy a little me-time. Instead, hang around and even offer the hostess a helping hand. You might develop a friendship then and there!  

Social Groups (online & in-person) 

Social groups are the tried and true way to find mom friendships (or a date), be it your church or knitting group.

So, consider your interests, from books to blogging. Then go onto sites like Meetup.com to connect locally or in online spaces you’ve vetted and feel good joining.

And if you have a little one, there are many mommy and me meetup groups to join.

Your Neighborhood

Lastly, look no further than your backyard. Depending on the walkability of your neighborhood, consider spending more time outside with the kiddos. Be on the lookout for other parents, from your front yard to neighborhood parks.

And once a friendly-looking mom is spotted, build up the courage to introduce yourself!

3. Plan to Meet

Where to meet in person for the first time?

Once you’ve connected with someone new, they might surprise you by reaching out first to set up a time to get together. But no worries if they don’t; we’ve got you even if you’re an introvert trying to make mom friends.

So, you’ve met a prospective mom friend, have their info, and now it’s time for your first date…play date, that is!

If your kids are around the same age, it’s easy to use the kids as an excuse to get together. You can suggest meeting at a park, library, mall play area, or other accessible spaces.

If their kids aren’t the same age, or you need a break from the kiddos, going to a coffee shop is a great first friend date, in my experience.

Coffee shops naturally allow people to place their orders, so there’s no awkwardness over the check. It’s also a fine space to stay until you’ve taken your last sip if things aren’t going great. Or sit for hours if you’ve made a fantastic connection.

By all means, do a lunch date if you want. However, avoid inviting someone over or going to their home until you’ve met a few times in public. Safety, first!

Side note: as a plus size mom making friends, I like the ability to select the location we meet so I don’t have to worry about seating not being accommodating. But, if someone invites me somewhere new, I jump onto Google to scope out photos of their seating options long before I arrive.

From your favorite park, library story time, or coffee shop to your favorite lunch spot – pull yourself out of your comfort zone and set up that first meetup! The worst someone can say is no; the best outcome is a new best friend, and that’s worth the fear of rejection.

What about connecting with online friends in real life (IRL)?

Posting about a meetup in a local mom’s Facebook group is often met with a lot of excitement. But not much follow-up! So, unless you’re an extrovert who loves event planning, consider seeing what family-friendly events are coming up in your community.

Then do a post in the local group asking who is planning to attend. Next, coordinate a time and place to meet at the event. You might not have a big turnout the first time, but continue to post (and share pictures of events).

You would’ve attended the event with or without planning a meetup. So, take things as they flow and try again if you don’t immediately make a new mom friend.

How can I meet my online friends virtually?

Social media friendships are genuine. However, the text typed on your phone has no tone. So, I encourage you to meet to get to know one another on a whole new level.

Since that’s not always geographically possible, set up a Zoom or FaceTime date.

You can see one another immediately if you’re already communicating via Facebook messenger. Simply tap the video camera on the top right and connect on a deeper level. Just be sure to give your friend a heads up or plan a video date in advance.

There are fun ways to connect virtually with friends old and new. Consider setting up a Netflix Watch Party. Or do a canvas painting via a YouTube tutorial and then show your masterpieces via video.

4. Cultivate Mom Friendships 

All relationships take work, especially quality mom friendships! That’s why I asked you to ensure you had time for new friends before beginning the search.

Following your first meetup, you’ll want to keep reaching out if you’d like to pursue the friendship. Now, everyone is busy so don’t feel rejected if you can’t get together immediately. Set realistic expectations for mom friends, so hopefully, you can start with a monthly playdate.

Between in-person meetups, engage with their social media and send them a random mom meme that makes you think of them or a TikTok. Be sure you’re aware of the best way to remain in touch. For example, anxious moms might not like to communicate via text because they might feel like they need to respond right away. Facebook Messenger is a bit less intrusive and often preferable.

I hope your new friendship blossoms into something special that you’ll cherish forever!

5. Evaluate Your Friendships 

“People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” – Brian Chalker

This quote is a tough pill to swallow when a friendship you thought would last forever ends in a season. But remember that there are only so many hours in a day. So, the older we get (and the more activities our kids enroll in), we realize the benefits of quality over quantity.

And quality friendships often last a lifetime!

Even if you’ve invested a year into a friendship that started magically, it’s okay to let go if it’s currently feeling like a chore. And you can do that by stopping being the one always to reach out. That person will eventually contact you if you have a lasting friendship.

Setting healthy boundaries with friends isn’t always easy, but it’s critical.

Devote extra time to those who enrich your life, and you’ll be amazed at how much of a positive impact these relationships will make.

You’ve got this, and I hope these tips help you to welcome the most fantastic people into your life!

Learn even more by listening to episode 178 of the Plus Mommy Podcast below.

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 178

Transcript happily provided upon request. 

The post How To Make Mom Friends – 5 Tips For Quality Friendships appeared first on Plus Mommy.

Following the birth of her daughter, Emory, Adiba found herself in the throes of postpartum depression. While struggling silently, she wrote humorous articles about motherhood.  

After finally reaching out for support and getting therapy, Adiba opened up to her community about her depression. In turn, so many women came forward with shared experiences. This wasn’t the first time Adiba used her voice to help others feel alone, and it sure wouldn’t be the last. 

Adiba’s first book, Meet ClaraBelle Blue came out in 2013. This book was born out of frustration that she didn’t see her daughter represented in children’s books during a fateful trip to a book store. 

She searched for children’s books featuring characters with disabilities and couldn’t find any featuring children, let alone a Black girl on the cover.

After finding one Little Critter book featuring a character who was disabled, Adiba said, “My kid is not a critter. What about the kid who is looking to be included?”

And in true Adiba Nelson fashion, she rage-wrote a children’s book featuring a Black girl in a wheelchair in ten minutes! 

Related: What Happens When You See Bodies That Look Like Yours Represented

At first, she thought this book was just for her daughter. But, once her cousin read it, he knew it needed to be everywhere and connected her with an illustrator. 

She went on the hunt for an agent, but everyone turned her away. One publisher even said the world wasn’t ready for this story. So, Adiba self-published on May 4th, 2014. Meet ClaraBelle Blue has sold over 6,000 copies and is in many countries. 

Along with writing, another passion of Adiba’s is burlesque. And for over six years, until she recently retired, she proudly took the stage to help celebrate more diverse bodies. 

When she started, she didn’t see any Black plus size women who looked like her performing burlesque in her hometown of Tuscon, Arizona. So, she felt deeply called to represent herself and her daughter. As Adiba wanted to learn to fully love her body to teach her daughter how to love herself – and burlesque did just that! 

From the burlesque stage to the TedEx stage, Adiba moved hearts and minds. 

Related: Actor Jen Ponton Dishes About Dietland, Fat Activism, And More

In 2018, what she thought would be a two-minute interview turned into a documentary about her life called The Full Nelson.

Never in her wildest dreams did she think this documentary would become an Emmy nominee. Let alone an Emmy award-winning documentary!

And now, her debut novel, “Ain’t That A Mother”, drops in May of 2022. 

Listen as Adiba shares her story in her own words and hear excerpts from her book, thanks to Blackstone Publishing, during episode 159 of the Plus Mommy Podcast. 

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 159

Transcript happily provided upon request. 

Resources Mentioned On The Show:

• Connect with Adiba Nelson via her website, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.
• Learn about Meet ClaraBelle Blue.
• Pre-order “Ain’t That A Mother” from Blackstone Publishing.

Adiba Nelson is an author, screenwriter, retired burlesque performer, disability rights advocate, and most recently, subject of the Emmy winning documentary, The Full Nelson. She wrote and self-published her first children’s book, Meet ClaraBelle Blue in 2013. Adiba’s memoir, “Ain’t That A Mother”, is currently available for preorder and will be available everywhere books are sold May 3, 2022.

The post Adiba Nelson – Inclusion And Empowerment From The Stage To The Page appeared first on Plus Mommy.

My Skin Cancer Story

Two years ago, I had a referral to see a dermatologist but canceled my appointment the day before. ⁠⁠
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I was terrified to have a doctor examine my body closely.

I couldn’t stomach the idea of another provider shaming me.⁠⁠
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So I didn’t go. ⁠⁠
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The concerning moles on my back were out of sight, so I put them out of mind.⁠⁠
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Over a year later, I noticed something raised on my forehead.⁠⁠
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It wasn’t out of sight, but I let another six months pass by.⁠⁠
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When I finally made an appointment, I asked for a note in my file, sharing how care providers have shamed me because of my size. ⁠⁠
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I thought it might help me to feel less anxious. ⁠⁠
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And it did! ⁠⁠
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The dermatologist I saw was compassionate and reassured me that she sees all kinds of bodies.

And she was so glad I came in! ⁠⁠
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She told me how important it is to get screened because a lot of what she does can be preventive medicine if caught soon enough. ⁠⁠
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I’m so thankful I believed I was worthy of prioritizing my health care because I needed four biopsies. ⁠⁠

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One of the moles on my back came back precancerous, and the spot on my forehead was a basal cell carcinoma.

Cancer. I had skin cancer and needed Mohs surgery to have it removed.

I can’t help but wonder what if I didn’t believe I was worthy of good health care? ⁠⁠
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What if I kept holding onto fear? ⁠⁠
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If you’re afraid to go to the doctor, I understand entirely. ⁠⁠
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But I hope my story encourages you to make that appointment you’ve been putting off because you’re worthy, too! ⁠⁠
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We’re ALL worthy of good health care. ⁠⁠

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 156
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Listen to episode 156 of the Plus Mommy Podcast as I share my skin cancer story. I share not only my experience but also my raw emotions and fears. As a plus size woman, it was a lot to process needing surgery on my face. But I’m so much more than a pretty face! 

The post So Much More Than A Pretty Face – My Skin Cancer Story appeared first on Plus Mommy.