To the plus size mom feeling all alone – we are in this together!
Let’s chat about the unique challenges we’re facing during this unprecedented time with a little help from my friends.
Yes, I’ve brought on some friends to make this a fun and supportive conversation that will leave you feeling less alone.
We’re sharing our tips for mental wellness, addressing concerns about binge eating, a response to the fat-shaming quarantine memes, and even navigating homeschooling.
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Dear Plus Size Mom Feeling All Alone,
Give Yourself Some Grace
As moms, we almost always put ourselves last.
We do everything for everyone else, and always feel as if we’re not doing enough.
I’m here to say you are doing MORE than enough. It’s time to give yourself some grace!
My friend Marie shares her wisdom below on why we all need to be kind to ourselves during this time.
Hi, this is Marie Denee from The Curvy Fashionista. I actually wanted to talk about self-care and a few tips. So especially at this time, it’s very important to be mindful and respect your body and give yourself grace.
You know, some people are quick to jump on the, “you could be doing all of this and be productive and launch that business launch that podcast.”
We are not in normal times.
Sometimes grace is just allowing you allowing yourself to sit on the couch.
And sometimes you need a little assistance! Maybe that’s chamomile, Melatonin, CBD, or tinctures. It could be the tea, it can be the pills, it could be calming drops – whatever it is that it’s going to work for you like finding that and practicing a little bit of mindfulness with yourself, right?
Just being in tune with how you’re feeling sometimes. And maybe even as simple as allowing yourself your full eight hours of the rest. Right?
So in this time, I’ve had to learn what self-care really looks like, just because I deal with a lot of anxiety and depression.
Related: Exercising Balance In Motherhood
And so through therapy, I’ve learned just different tools. But I also learned how to honor and respect how I’m feeling and acknowledging that because sometimes you just have to feel through those fears.
If I feel like crying, I cried it out.
If I feel like taking a nap because I feel so emotionally drained. I do that and allowing ourselves to do that. And if we’re in spaces where we can’t do that immediately, like making and setting aside time for that for yourself.
We make appointments to get our hair cut, to get our legs waxed, for eyebrows and everything else – you need to make time and make an appointment for yourself and check-in with yourself often cuz we are not in normal times.
And it really is a challenge.
You know, some days I wake up and I’m like eff this, I’m done. Like, I’m not getting on the computer. And some days I’m like, okay, I have a little energy and if that’s only two hours, that’s okay.
It’s really about being allowing and giving yourself grace in this space in this time.
And extending that, and then you’ll find you’re extending grace to others as well because you understand.
So when it comes to self-care, give yourself grace.
Show Yourself And Others Gratitude
It’s easy to think about all the things that aren’t fair right now. Being a plus size mom feeling all alone is especially hard with news stories showing keep plus size parents passing.
When you start that cycle, my friend Tiffany recommends writing down the things you’re thankful for – practicing gratitude!
Whether you journal or say it out loud like I’ve been doing, I’ve found acknowledging all the things that I’m thankful for is really helping me during this time! And when I pay attention to what I’m thankful for, I’m kinder to myself and my family.
Hi, it’s Tiffany Reese from the podcast, Something Was Wrong. I wanted to share one of my tips for mental health during this difficult time and that is journaling.
Specifically, gratitude journaling, for me, has been essential during traumas in my past. I’ve definitely leaning into that right now.
If anybody’s interested, I actually have a gratitude journal called Everything Sucks. And I feel like anybody could find that useful.
I also have a new book called Strong Women Rising, which is about improving your confidence and stepping into your power and just living your best life.
So I hope those tips are helpful.
Certainly you don’t need to buy fancy books to journal.
Something you can do is just look up gratitude prompts online as well. And all you need is a piece of paper and some time yourself.
It can be really healing to look at the things we have when we are feeling really out of control. So I hope that’s helpful to someone.
Connect with Tiffany on Instagram.
I sometimes get annoyed with all the messages to take a bubble bath for self-care when my townhome has a tiny tub that I don’t fit in. Do you know what I’m saying?
What does self-care look like to you?
Maybe your tub isn’t tiny, and you love a nice long bath!
Take a few minutes to write down 5 – 10 things that you do for self-care at home.
Your list doesn’t have to be full of “fancy things” like bribing your kids or partner to give you a pedicure.
You can list simple things like drinking eight glasses of water and going outside daily to get some sunshine!
Personally, self-care for me is going upstairs daily to my office, where I have a view of the mountains. Seeing nature and going out on my balcony for fresh air is revitalizing to me!
If I’m feeling up to it, I enjoy doing a spa face-mask and my makeup.
My go-to online for all things makeup is my friend Meg O. So, I’ve invited her to share one of her great tips. If you’re the plus size mom feeling all alone – we hope this perks you up!
Hi there, this is Meg O and I am the blogger behind Megoonthego.com and Meg O on Instagram. I know during this time, it’s really hard to kind of feel like yourself and feel put together. So self-care is super important during this time!
I always like to get dressed every morning. I also am a huge makeup lover and I feel the most myself when I put on a little bit of makeup.
One of my favorite makeup tricks is to use bronzer on your eye with a little fluffy brush in the crease. It makes it look like you tried harder than you actually did and it’s one of my favorite beauty tricks.
And if you need any more help with more makeup tricks, check me out and give me a follow on Instagram. I’d love to be your friend!
I hope you’re all saying very safe and you are saying healthy. We will come out of this much stronger. Take care, everyone!
Productivity Is Great But Not Necessary
If you’re up for doing household projects – awesome!
If that feels overwhelming – that’s okay too!
Do whatever you can do, when you feeling doing it.
This is Jimmy and Amanda with Chubby And Away!
We are based in Dallas, Texas currently because we can’t travel.
We are each sharing a tip for mental wellness during this very weird and awkward time.
The first tip, from Jimmy, is constructive.
We actually took on a task and we agreed to remodel a home. My parents just bought a house and we are remodeling it since I’m off of work since I work at a school.
And so we are remodeling an entire house painting it and the floors – the whole bit!
You don’t have to renovate an entire house – just find a small project.
Use old paint in the garage and give one wall a pop of color, as Amanda always says – HGTV for the win!
Do something fun, you know, that’s what it’s all about.
This is Amanda, and I would say my tip is let yourself have your feelings because I know, during this time, it’s very confusing for everybody. And it’s very scary.
And especially as content creators, and as travelers. We see so many of kind of our colleagues creating, creating, and creating right now. Where we’re not doing as much of that because we travel.
So this kind of stops all of our productivity and so during this time it can be very scary and confusing for people.
They feel a pressure to stay positive all the time or be a certain way and that may feel the exact opposite of their feeling.
And so I say let yourself have your feelings, it’s okay if you feel like that. Because this is uncertain for everybody and you’re definitely not alone.
So journal or meditate or talk to somebody close to you, or something like that.
Watch some Chubby And Away YouTube videos to make you feel better.
We hope this helps, and know that this is a tough time for everybody. Just know that you’re not in it on your own. We love you! Dance party soon!
Follow Chubby And Away on Instagram!
Your Kids Will Be Okay!
Big hugs mom turned teacher. I’m struggling with my new role so I brought on an expert to share two helpful tips.
Hey, hey new teacher! This is Carly from Lipgloss And Crayons.
I’m a mom who is currently doing distance learning with her kindergartener, but I am also a veteran teacher, myself. I taught elementary school for 15 years. So I wanted to give you a little bit of advice.
Number one, show yourself and your kids some grace!
The reality is, even if you are someone who’s an experienced teacher like me, this is obviously not a situation that any of us were prepared for, emotionally, academically, so we’re all adjusting.
Take a deep breath and realize that it’s gonna take some time and that is okay!
Now I’m putting my professional head on and telling you preparation is key.
Young kids are like the ocean when you turn your back on them, you know, what happens.
So here’s the deal. After your children go to sleep each night, take five minutes and set up all your tasks for the next day. I guarantee it is going to help you so your day runs a little bit more smoothly.
Even for your fourth, fifth, or sixth-grade kids, this is going to help a ton. They still need a routine.
I promise. It’s gonna get easier.
The longer you do this, we’ll get through this together, hang in there.
And remember, this is temporary. The most important thing is that you get through this as calmly as possible.
Take care of your emotional needs and your kids the most because the rest will figure out in the Fall!
Be sure to follow Carly on Instagram!
Enjoy Food Without Shame
When the quarantine started I received some messages on Instagram with concerns about binge eating. I reached out to an expert for some wisdom to share!
I think a lot of times what people don’t understand about binge eating is that we do it because we’ve been restricting food.
We’ve been restricting so much because we feel like we don’t have permission to eat the food we want to eat, and because we feel like we’re eating “bad foods.”
Often the secret to feeling more relaxed around food, feeling like we could step away from, “binge eating” is to give yourself permission to eat the food!
And eat it out in public.
And eat it at a table, and don’t feel like you have to hide the fact you’re eating it fully.
Sit down, and let yourself enjoy it.
Let yourself take time with food. Celebrate the fact that you’re eating and enjoying it.
Often what happens is as humans we habituate.
So research on this is really clear as we, the more we allow ourself to eat the food that we have so forbidden, the more we actually can take time to see if we even like to food!?
Am I really enjoying it?
Then over time you just have enough of it.
This is the reason why the 25th french fry never tastes as good as the first. Because your body gets used to it, and your taste buds get used to it.
So you won’t feel as out of control about it because you have full permission to eat it!
I think it really is so crucial to understanding why these things happen and really kind of getting out ahead of it.
The other thing I want to say is that you know, these things happen, and we just have to have compassion for ourselves.
And especially right now!
I think a lot of us are “stress eating” or “emotional eating” because things are really hard right now and there’s a lot of fear and uncertainty and food is one of the few coping strategies we have left.
Food is a really good coping strategy.
You know what, it’s there. It tastes good. It makes you feel good. And it maybe helps you escape a little bit. And we all need that because all of our regular support systems and coping strategies look differently right now.
So, my message to your listeners is I hope you guys can approach this issue with kindness for yourself.
Give yourself permission to enjoy the foods you have. And don’t stress so much about what it looks like because this is something we’re all figuring out day to day right now.
Follow Virginia on Instagram.
Your Body Is Worthy
If you’re bothered by all the quarantine fat-shaming memes – you’re not alone. I see them too.
I invited Aryn, of Musings On Motherhood, to share her thoughts because they are ones I echo.
Hey, it’s Aryn Hinton! Thanks for giving me the chance to say a little bit about how I’m feeling about the body-shaming memes that are going around right now during the quarantine.
As I shared on my Instagram posts, I just think it’s really important that we remember that our worth is not determined by our bodies or how they look.
And even though society wants us to feel that way, it’s just a big lie.
If you are experiencing feelings of shame or guilt surrounding what you’re eating right now, know that you’re not alone in that.
Right now we’re all doing the best that we can to survive.
Your body is beautiful, your body is worthy, you are enough!
Your size does not indicate your worth in this world. You are so much more than that.
And we’re going to work together to take these memes down and to remind people that there are those of us that exist in larger bodies. And we’re doing really great things, we have a really great life, and that taking advantage of our body size for entertainment or pleasure or as a joke or however you want to call it is not okay! We are going to change the narrative.
Connect with Aryn via Instagram!
Dear plus size mom feeling all alone, if you are struggling with anything PLEASE reach out for help! You can find an online therapist or pick up the phone and talk to a good friend.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Tune Into Things That Make You Happy
Tune into what makes you happy and turn off things that cause you anxiety!
I’ve enjoyed all the musicians giving free performances online. One of my favorites is a former guest of the podcast and former American’s Got Talent Semifinalist, Christina Wells!
This is your girl, Christina Wells!
It is so hard right now, I think for all of us to figure out ways to stay positive, and to make sure we’re doing self-care because we’re home all the time.
But for me, music is such a healing and such an inspirational vehicle.
I listen to hymns if I felt anxious.
I listen to dance music when I get a little depressed.
And just doing that, just listening to those different songs, gets my spirit lifted! It gets my heart lifted, and it helps me to take my mind off the craziness that is the world.
I hope you guys are doing good out there!
Connect with Christina on Instagram!
Connect With The Ones You Love
When I’m struggling, I call my mom. So I thought I’d reach out to her for this helpful resource.
This is Kathryn Rue, and I’m actually Jen McLellan’s mom.
And during this time, I’m finding what helps me a lot is to keep my life and routine as normal as possible.
Having that usual schedule just really helps me a lot.
And I am fortunate at this time to be able to work from my home office. And we live in an area where it’s easy to enjoy our backyard or take a walk in a beautiful natural area.
So beyond that, I really have appreciated all that technology offers us today. And not only does it allow me to stay in touch with FaceTime and Zoom meetings for work, but more importantly to me to be able to feel like I’m actually with my loved ones and my friends.
And for a long time now, I have just so enjoyed meeting up with friends for happy hour and we’ve found ways to do that on the Zoom call.
So that’s the best thing to do for lifting my spirits to stay with the ones you love, no matter how you do it.
And now a note from me to you…
You are doing your best and it’s enough!
I have to believe, as I shared in this Instagram post below that our kids won’t remember this the same way we will.
Stay home, and be well!
Dear Plus Size Mom feeling all alone, want to dig into these tips even deeper? Listen to the podcast episode below or go subscribe to Plus Mommy via your favorite podcast app!
Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 94
Resources Mentioned On The Show:
- Thank you to all of my guests! You can find all of their info linked above.
- When you’re a plus size mom feeling all alone, be sure to ask for help! you’re struggling. You can find resources for online therapists online, and here’s one resource. If you’re pregnant or postpartum, postpartum.net has a free 1-800-944-4773 number and a lot of great support on their website.
- If you’re pregnant, be sure to follow the information put out by the CDC, but I also highly recommend looking at the resources Rebecca Dekker of Evidence Based Birth is sharing around pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. Laural Wilson is sharing helpful information for breastfeeding.