The photo captured us in a moment of pure happiness, but I hadn’t shared it before. Why? Because I was seated. It was a side view. And because internalized weight bias still sneaks up, even for those of us who speak out against it.

That one image led me to reconnect with Debbie, a brilliant auctioneer, comedian, advocate, and all-around extraordinary human. We’ve known each other for over a decade, and reconnecting reminded me just how much I appreciate her authenticity, humor, and heart.

I invited Debbie on the show for an open, real conversation about aging, body image, sobriety, showing up authentically, and how we navigate all of it, especially as we grow older.

From Unexpected Divorce to the Comedy Stage

Debbie’s story is one of transformation through vulnerability. After working in the nonprofit world and staying home with her children, life took an unexpected turn with a sudden divorce. Searching for something to anchor herself, she tried stand-up comedy for the first time in 2013, and instantly fell in love.

While she didn’t love the late-night lifestyle of comedy clubs, she found her sweet spot in using humor for connection. This evolved into emceeing events and eventually becoming a licensed auctioneer, combining her passions for nonprofits, connection, and comedy.

Our Bodies, Our Biases—Even Our Own

That old photo sparked a deeper conversation between us. I’ve worked hard to unpack weight bias, and I fiercely advocate for body acceptance and autonomy. But even still, that side-angle photo made me pause.

Debbie, who exists in a smaller body, shared that she, too, has wrestled with body image, especially in midlife. She’s experienced changes in her body that have led her to reflect more deeply on how she feels in her skin.

“I have moments where I feel great and others where I just don’t like looking at my body,” she shared honestly. “Even though I have a partner who loves all of me, it’s still a very personal relationship—one that’s sometimes the most challenging.”

It’s a powerful reminder that body image struggles are not limited by size, and that as we age, our relationships with our bodies continue to evolve.

Aging, Ozempic, and What Doctors Don’t Ask

As we discussed how our bodies change with age (hello, perimenopause), Debbie shared her frustration with medical providers who quickly offer weight loss drugs without deeper conversations.

“I mentioned gaining weight, and the first response was, ‘Have you heard of Ozempic?’ No one asked how I feel in my body. No one asked about how I move or what my day-to-day looks like,” Debbie shared.

We talked about the broader implications of this—how normalized weight-loss medication has become, and the real harm of skipping over conversations about health, lifestyle, and well-being.

Debbie acknowledged that while these medications can be life-changing for some, the lack of nuance in how they’re offered is concerning.

As someone who champions body autonomy, I’ve felt torn too, supporting people’s choices while grieving how quickly society has shifted back to “smaller is better” narratives. It’s not about the medication itself; it’s about the pressure, the assumptions, and the loss of the progress we were making in fat acceptance and body liberation spaces.

Sobriety, Self-Acceptance & Showing Up

Another powerful part of our conversation was about sobriety. Debbie has been sober since 2018, and she shared openly about what it’s like to be a sober woman in her 50s, navigating social spaces that often revolve around alcohol.

“There’s this myth that the more people drink at fundraising events, the more they give,” she said. “But what actually builds connection is authenticity, not alcohol.”

We also talked about what it’s like to experience intimacy without alcohol, and the vulnerability that comes with truly showing up without a buffer. Her honesty was so refreshing—and a reminder that growth is often uncomfortable, but worth it.

Giving Thoughtful F*cks as We Age

One of my favorite moments was when Debbie said, “I meet people who say, ‘I give zero fcks.’ And I think that’s not it. The real gift of aging is being selective with the f*cks you give.”

That perfectly captures the heart of this episode. We talked about learning to care deeply—but intentionally. About stepping back from the need for constant approval. About honoring our bodies, energy, and boundaries as we grow older.

Safe Spaces, Advocacy & The Importance of Showing Up

We also talked about the very real fears many LGBTQIA+ people are experiencing right now. Debbie and her partner Wendy have had hard conversations about what it means to stay safe in today’s political climate—and how heartbreaking it is to see protections stripped away.

“I think one of the most powerful things we can do is just check in with our people,” Debbie said. “Ask if they’re okay. Ask how you can support them. And when it feels safe, speak up.”

Whether it’s offering sober-friendly spaces at events, creating inclusive healthcare environments, or just standing up for your friends, there’s always something we can do to make the world more compassionate.

Learning, Listening & Living Authentically

As we wrapped up, Debbie shared how much joy she gets from her work as an emcee and auctioneer, especially when she’s raising money for causes she cares about.

“I show up as authentically me,” she said. “And then I come home and sit on my porch in silence to recharge. That balance keeps me going.”

That authenticity, and her ability to navigate vulnerability with humor and heart, is exactly why I wanted to have her on the show, and why I’m so glad to share her voice with you.

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 237

Transcript happily provided upon

• Check out Debbie Scheer’s podcast: Aging with Pride
• Learn more about her work: Debbie Scheer Speaks

This episode is brought to you by the Size-Friendly Birth Course—an online training for birth and postpartum professionals ready to provide size-inclusive care for people in larger bodies.

You’ll get:

• 🎥 Over 6 hours of video lessons
• 📘 A 115-page editable PDF workbook with guided activities
• 🕒 6 contact hours for professional development
• 📜 A certificate of completion
• 🌐 Bonus: Access to the Plus Size Birth Circle—our exclusive online platform

The post Aging, Body Image & Real Talk with Comedian Debbie Scheer appeared first on Plus Mommy.

While tending bar, Mary was doing a lot of spoken word around Seattle. She talked about being Christian and queer from behind the mic and her struggles with the two intertwined. 

Hollis Wong-Wear, Mary’s friend in the Seattle poetry community, was a soundboard for Macklemore and Ryan Lewis for an album they were developing. And Hollis called Mary, sharing a writing opportunity for a song about gay marriage and the church for the album. 

Mary felt like this was the moment she was waiting for, to write about her Christian beliefs and queer identity – with a focus on love. And in about one hour, she wrote the chorus for the grammy-nominated song, “Same Love”!  

Yet, at the time, two months passed following her recording of the chorus, and she hadn’t heard from anyone. So, she assumed they had gone with someone else. 

And then she received an e-mail that changed her life forever. It wasn’t just her words selected for the song but her voice!

The year was 2012 before gay marriage had passed, and the song was a massive success but also caused controversy. As Mary left for tour with Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. She ensured her last will and testament were updated because there were protesters and death threats throughout the two years they toured. 

Mary knew she wanted to create meaningful and risky work that challenges the status quo.  And she did just that as a solo artist!

“She Keeps Me Warm” is a beautiful extension of the chorus Mary sang in “Same Love.” It dropped in 2013 and was very well received. 

And then there was the unforgettable Grammy performance of “Same Love” with Macklemore, Ryan Lewis, Madonna, and Queen Latifah!

Now known as a queer singer, Mary wanted to produce music that spoke to her fat activism and who she loves. So, in 2014, she dropped “Body Love,” a spoken-word piece Mary wrote years earlier when she was 19. It’s a vulnerable and profound statement about loving oneself. 

And then Secrets dropped, written, and produced to be the commercially successful pop song it became. It was also Mary sharing with the world that she has bipolar disorder. 

The song went Gold in 2015 and was on the pop charts, receiving a lot of positive feedback. 

And later that year, she stepped away from her record label after being pushed to the extremes. Mary chose her mental health and regained complete creative control of her work.  

Mary has gone on to produce music, publish poetry, co-host the podcast The Manic Episodes with her fiancé, and voice acting with her feature in Netflix’s I Love Arlo.

She’s currently orchestrating film scores, writing a book on body image, and is offering her Every Body Is a Baby course. 

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 170 & 234

Transcript happily provided upon request. 

Resources Mentioned On The Show:

• Learn about Mary’s upcoming shows via her website, subscribe to The Manic Episodes podcast, and learn more about the Every Body Is a Babe workshop.
• Connect with Mary on Instagram and all other social handles @marylambertsing

This episode is brought to you by the Size-Friendly Birth Course—an online training for birth and postpartum professionals ready to provide size-inclusive care for people in larger bodies.

You’ll get:

• 🎥 Over 6 hours of video lessons
• 📘 A 115-page editable PDF workbook with guided activities
• 🕒 6 contact hours for professional development
• 📜 A certificate of completion
• 🌐 Bonus: Access to the Plus Size Birth Circle—our exclusive online platform and mobile app for on-the-go learning and community support

Use code PLUSMOMMY for 20% off at plussizebirth.com!

The post From Same Love To Body Liberation With Mary Lambert appeared first on Plus Mommy.

As a queer individual in a sperm-less relationship, Karen knew their path to parenthood would be unique and medicalized.

Their journey, filled with ups and downs, ultimately led to the birth of their beautiful child. Along the way, Karen gathered invaluable insights and advice for plus size and queer individuals navigating similar paths.

A Queer Plus Size Fertility Story

Karen’s journey began with the understanding that getting pregnant would involve medical intervention.

Meeting their partner, navigating assumptions and biases from medical professionals, and enduring an unexpected cancer diagnosis were just the beginning.

Karen faced multiple setbacks, including a reproductive endocrinologist who made assumptions based on their size and prescribed medication without proper diagnosis.

Determined to find the right care, Karen sought second opinions and switched providers until they found a reproductive endocrinologist who treated them with respect and provided evidence-based care.

Their persistence paid off, leading to multiple rounds of intrauterine insemination (IUI) and in-vitro fertilization (IVF), eventually resulting in a successful pregnancy.

Despite the medical hurdles, including a critical decision about a fibroid removal and miscarriage, Karen’s story is one of triumph!

They ultimately gave birth and built a beautiful family!  

Advice for Plus Size Individuals

Find the Right Provider: Don’t be afraid to seek multiple opinions and switch providers if you’re not comfortable. Karen emphasized the importance of having a compassionate, evidence-based care provider who respects and validates your individual health needs.

Ask Questions Upfront: Ensure your fertility clinic can accommodate your needs, especially regarding procedures like egg retrieval. Ask about their policies and experiences working with plus size individuals.

Advocate for Yourself: If a medical professional makes assumptions about your health based on your size, don’t hesitate to speak up. Karen shared how asserting their needs and clarifying their health status helped them avoid unnecessary medications and treatments.

Comfort Matters: If certain medical staff or procedures make you uncomfortable, request alternatives. Karen highlighted the importance of having ultrasound technicians who are skilled in working with different body types and requesting specific providers for comfort.

Advice for Queer Individuals

Seek Queer-Friendly Providers: It’s crucial to find medical professionals experienced in working with queer individuals and couples. Ask about their experience and comfort in providing queer-inclusive care.

Educate and Advocate: Be prepared to educate your providers about your needs and advocate for yourself. Karen shared instances where they had to correct assumptions and educate their providers on gender and pronoun usage.

Build a Support Network: Surround yourself with supportive individuals, including doulas, who understand and respect your journey. Karen’s doula provided crucial support, offering evidence-based information and emotional encouragement throughout the process.

Trust Your Intuition: Throughout their journey, alogn with the support of their partner, Karen trusted their intuition about what felt right for their body and their baby. This intuition guided their decisions.

By seeking compassionate care, asking the right questions, and trusting your intuition, you can navigate your fertility journey with confidence and resilience.

Listen to Karen’s full story and helpful advice during episode 217 of the Plus Mommy Podcast.

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 217

Transcript happily provided upon request.

Resources Mentioned On The Show

• Listen to more queer plus size fertility and pregnancy podcast episodes and read birth stories.

The post Karen’s Queer Plus Size Fertility Story: Self-Advocacy and Triumph appeared first on Plus Mommy.

Queer Plus Size Birth Story

Amidst the pandemic, Maria and Erica tied the knot at a time when everyone seemed to be embracing the art of bread baking.

Maria immersed herself in The Queer Family Podcast, pondering having a baby but thinking their plate was already full. But, in time, a strong desire emerged within her, and she approached Erica, expressing her readiness to start a family.

The decision for Maria to carry their child was an easy one. Then they began exploring their fertility support options once they felt ready, grounded, and excited.

As a queer couple, finding places where they’d feel safe was extremely important. And being new to Arizona, they needed to do their research.

One of the first steps along their parenthood journey was selecting a donor from a sperm bank, as they didn’t want to have a known donor. It was an emotional and exciting process where they had deep conversations about what was important to them.

One notable aspect that influenced the decision-making process was a heartfelt letter from their chosen donor addressed to prospective parents.

With the sperm donor selected, it was time to start trying to conceive. They opted first for intracervical insemination (ICI) at home. They closely watched Maria’s fertility window and tried a few times.

The emotional toll was significant each time their attempts didn’t succeed. Maria couldn’t help but feel a sense of personal failure, despite being aware of the low odds of achieving pregnancy through ICI.

Erica, too, experienced the pressure of ensuring they followed all the right steps during the insemination process. On top of it all, the financial burden added to their stress, with each attempt costing around $1,000 due to the expense of purchasing sperm.

Fertility Support

Maria and Erica felt it was time to get fertility support. They connected with a fertility clinic thanks to finding LGBTQIA+ supportive providers via an LGBT TTC Facebook group.

They felt heard and supported during their first Zoom consultation with an OB-GYN. Maria thought they needed to jump straight to IVF, but this provider felt IUI was an excellent first step.

And so they started the IUI process!

Maria expressed gratitude for the absence of comments regarding her weight potentially affecting their chances of conceiving. And throughout all her appointments at the fertility clinic, she never once had to step on a scale, which was a relief for her.

Their very first attempt at IUI led to a beautiful outcome – they were pregnant!

Maternity Care

Maria remained under the care of the fertility clinic until she reached her 8th week of pregnancy. Then the time came for her to transition to routine maternity care, marking a significant shift in her healthcare journey.

Unfortunetly, the limited options for maternity care providers in Flagstaff, Arizona, left them with only two choices.

Maria had an extremely negative experience before getting pregnant with one of the two. She endured fat-shaming during a pap smear, leading her to rule out that provider completely.

Luckily, Erica’s involvement in public health provided her with connections to some of the staff at the other available maternity care option. Based on her interactions with them, Erica believed the clinic was LGBTQIA+ friendly. However, they still had an important question: whether the clinic would be size-friendly.

Before her first appointment with this new clinic, Maria talked to Erica about what was important to her for the birth. Maria did not want to be induced or have a cesarean birth.

The initial appointment went smoothly, and the new clinic welcomed them as a queer couple. However, Maria noticed a particular emphasis on her size and associated risks. As a result, additional appointments and tests were ordered, including several nonstress tests.

As Maria approached the final stages of her healthy pregnancy, a midwife they had grown fond of began discussing the possibility of inducing labor.

Determined to let labor progress naturally, Maria took every possible measure to encourage natural labor induction.

Erica and Maria had also hired a team of doulas to support them throughout this journey. And their doulas played a significant role in supporting and guiding Maria and Erica through decision-making.

Induction Day

Maria and Erica decided to proceed with an induction at 39 weeks, knowing that their chosen midwife would be present for the birth. They were grateful to have a midwife who was LGBTQIA+ friendly, ensuring a supportive and inclusive environment during this significant moment in their lives.

During the first day and a half, Maria was on medication to start the dilation process, and they tried to place a Foley catheter. But her body wasn’t progressing, and the pressure was on for more medical interventions, including Pitocin.

At this point, Maria’s water hadn’t broken, and the baby was doing great. So, their doula suggested that she and Erica consider heading home. They had concerns about how others would perceive their decision. But, their worries eased when a nurse echoed the same advice and mentioned that their midwife’s shift was ending.

Knowing they could safely leave since Maria and the baby were fine, they packed up and headed home.

Once home, they were still trying to do everything to naturally induce labor and going to non-stress tests to ensure their baby was doing well as Maria’s pregnancy was entering the 40th week.

Induction Day Number Two

At 41 weeks, Maria’s second induction was scheduled. She started the gradual induction process over a few days, following a similar approach as before.

Their midwife was there again for this induction and started pushing for Pitonic before Maria felt ready. The midwife also commented that Maria’s body couldn’t do it on her own.

At that moment, Maria felt her trust in this provider was broken as there was no medical urgency to proceed with Potocin.

Thankfully, that same nurse from the first induction was present and helped to advocate for more time and other medication.

Erica did all she could to support her wife. They were both sleep-deprived while advocating for a birth with as little intervention as possible.

Time became a blur, and that midwife’s shift ended.

At some point, an OB-GYN suggested breaking Maria’s water. With consent given, Maria understood they now had approximately 24 hours to welcome their baby, prompting the decision to contact their doula for support during this critical time.

Unfortunetly, Maria’s body didn’t go into labor even with her water broken, so it was time for Pitocin. And eventually, with strong contractions finally happening, Maria was exhausted and knew she needed an epidural.

Once she received the epidural, everyone rested for a couple of hours. Then Maria pushed for three hours, with the support of Erica and her doula, before bringing beautiful baby Rune into the world!

Tune in to episode 204 of the Plus Mommy Podcast, where Maria and Erica candidly share their remarkable queer plus size birth story.

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 204

Transcript happily provided upon request.

Resources Mentioned On The Show

• The Queer Family Podcast
• Listen to more queer plus size birth stories via the Plus Mommy Podcast or read stories via the Plus Size Birth website.
• Connect with Maria and Erica via Maria’s Instagram.

Thank you to our sponsor:

Our friends at Aeroflow Breastpumps are the sponsor of this week’s episode. Aeroflow Breastpumps is our go-to partner in ensuring moms get top-notch breast pumps, milk storage bags, breastfeeding prep courses, and more for little to no cost through insurance.

They have a fantastic range of highly-rated breast pumps from brands like Medela, Spectra, and Motif. All you need to do is complete a straightforward insurance eligibility form, and they’ll take care of the rest. Easy, peasy!

Hop over to aeroflowbreastpumps.com/plussizebirth and see why over 1 million families have chosen Aeroflow Breastpumps to cover their pump through insurance.

The post A Queer Plus Size Birth Story of Strength, Resilience, and Love appeared first on Plus Mommy.

As a Black, queer woman, she championed much-needed conversations about racial inequities in the Health At Every Size® and Intuitive Eating communities.

Jessica takes a stand against the American Academy of Pediatrics new guidelines on kids’ weight. She engages in a compelling discussion about the intricate connections between racism and diet culture.

Special Guest Jessica Wilson MS., RD,

When Jessica first became a dietitian in 2006, the focus was calories in and calories out. 

Over the next five years, she embarked on a journey of unlearning and self-discovery, eventually finding her place in the Health At Every Size® (HAES) community. 

Through this newfound connection, Jessica helped to write the first principles around social justice and inclusivity within the HAES movement! 

She says, “It’s white supremacy, not diet culture, that makes us feel the way we do about our bodies.” 

In 2016 she took a needed break.

By 2019, she was thrust back into the intersection of diet culture and white supremacy at an eating disorder conference. A moment she talks about in her book, It’s Always Been Ours: Rewriting the Story of Black Women’s Bodies.

Her book, which came out in 2023, delves into stories surrounding Black women’s bodies, shedding light on how whiteness influences their narratives. She uncovers the deep connection between diet culture and racism. And exposes the damaging effects of these combined forces on the lives and well-being of Black individuals. 

Jessica emphasizes that dismantling diet culture alone isn’t enough to ensure the safety and well-being of Black and trans people.

American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) New Guidelines

Jessica Wilson’s voice joined many enraged when the AAP created guidelines surrounding kids and weight in 2023.

People in the eating disorder field and concerned parents frantically took to social media to share their opinions.  

These guidelines include early proactive treatment for children as young as two. In addition, weight loss drugs can be prescribed for kids 12 and older, and weight loss surgery for kids 13 and up. 

Shockingly there is no strong evidence to back the APP’s guidelines that kids as young as two should have early lifestyle interventions. 

For Jessica, this all came back to the pursuit of thinness and its ties to the pursuit of whiteness!

Dive deeper into this needed conversation during episode 203 of the Plus Mommy Podcast. 

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 203

Transcript happily provided upon request.

Resources Mentioned On The Show

• Connect with Jessica Wilson and learn more about her book via her website, TikTok and Instagram.

Jessica Wilson(she/her) is a clinical dietitian, consultant, and author. In 2020 she co-created the viral Amplify Melanated Voices challenge. Since then she has been featured on ABC Prime Time News, public radio shows, podcasts, and in print media. Her book It’s Always Been Ours; Rewriting the Story of Black Women’s Bodies, was published in 2023 in the US and UK. She is an eating disorder expert and widely recognized for her work on addressing weight stigma in the care of queer and trans patients.

The post Jessica Wilson Takes on The AAP, Diet Culture, and Racism appeared first on Plus Mommy.

Home Birth When You Are Plus Size

Our home represents many things like our calm and a space where we feel safe.

Home birth is an option for many low-risk pregnant people, and it provides freedoms and comforts restricted in a hospital.

There’s another reason people chose home birth that doesn’t get addressed enough.

We live in a world where discrimination occurs for many due to race, sexual orientation, and body size. These biases are present within the healthcare system.

As Ray shares, “The level of fatphobia in many healthcare centers is frustrating.”

She understands that some plus size people have had negative experiences in hospitals, making them an environment full of fears and insecurities.

As a home birth midwife, Ray focuses on giving her clients support and confidence, making them feel as comfortable as possible.

Does every plus size person have access to home birth?

Home birth midwife Ray supports people of all sizes with her practice in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

For Ray and many home birth midwives, the focus is on the pregnant person’s health and not where they fall on the BMI chart.

People of all sizes can have healthy low-risk pregnancies.

If you’re a plus size person wanting a home birth, it’s critical to connect with a size-friendly home birth midwife. That’s a midwife who feels comfortable and has experience supporting people of all sizes.

Some states have BMI restrictions for home birth, so you’ll want to see if your state has limits. Most don’t!

Are there risks for plus size people having a home birth?

There are risks for people of all sizes during labor and birth, and that’s when Ray demonstrates her ability and skills to handle every issue that may come up. There is always a hospital transfer plan in place, just in case.

While there are some increased risks for people of size, like shoulder dystocia and postpartum bleeding, there’s no risk that only plus size people face when giving birth at home or in a hospital.

Ray addresses the frustration that equipment, like fetal monitoring, is not designed for plus size people. She is clear that people experiencing a plus size pregnancy shouldn’t blame themselves for this.

She has found a hand-held doppler works for her clients, but if she were unable to monitor someone accurately, that would be a reason they wouldn’t be able to have access to home birth.

Learn more about home birth when you are plus size.

Health At Every Size (HAES) And LGBTQ inclusive midwife Ray Rachlin joins the Plus Mommy podcast to talk about home birth when you are plus size. She covers what qualifies someone for home birth and how pregnancy and childbirth can look slightly different.

Ray also discusses providing fertility support for people in the LGBTQ community and those with polycystic ovary syndrome. We address fatphobia in the medical community and obstacles people face when desiring an out-of-hospital birth.

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 142

Resources Mentioned On The Show:

• Connect with Ray via her website, Instagram, and Facebook.

Ray Rachlin (she/they) is a Certified Professional Midwife, Licensed Midwife, and Certified Lactation Counselor. She provides home birth midwifery care, fertility and home IUI care, and community education throughout the greater Philadelphia area and South Jersey. Ray founded Refuge Midwifery in 2017 to create a home for families not served by our current healthcare system. She provides warm relationship-based care that improves birth outcomes and nurtures parents to help them get their best start.

Ray earned their Bachelor’s of Science in Midwifery at Birthingway College of Midwifery in Portland, Oregon in 2016. She also holds a BA in political science, urban studies and labor studies from Queens College. She is a member of the Pennsylvania Association of Certified Professional Midwives and Queer and Transgender Midwives Association.

In addition to midwifing families, for the past four years Ray has been immersed in promoting affirming reproductive care for transgender patients. Ray has taught midwives, doctors, nurses, and birth professionals throughout the country on trans-inclusive fertility, birth and postpartum care. In their private practice, Ray specializes in natural fertility support for individuals with prior hormone use. Pre-pandemic, she hosted bi-monthly gatherings for LGBTQ families trying to conceive, pregnant, and with new babies.

Thank You To Our Sponsor:

Use coupon code PlusMommy to receive 20% off the My Plus Size Pregnancy Guide that covers everything you could want to know about having a plus size pregnancy.

The post Considering Home Birth When You Are Plus Size? What You Should Know appeared first on Plus Mommy.

When Veronica and her wife met in 2012, they knew they were one another’s forever.

They immediately wanted to start a family. So, they met with care providers who recommended Veronica’s wife become pregnant.

Even though her wife was ten years older, care providers leaned towards
her, carrying their child because of Veronica’s weight.

Veronica wanted her wife to experience pregnancy, so they started their journey to becoming parents, including doing IUI.

Things were unsuccessful.

They switched care providers and also changed their family plan. Now Veronica would carry their child.

With a Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome diagnosis, Veronica decided to make significant lifestyle changes to help her become pregnant.

When she was ready to get pregnant, her fertility specialist asked her if she wanted to consider IVF.

Veronica and her wife had spent so long trying to conceive that they were eager to do whatever might speed the process along.

Sadly, Veronica’s first pregnancy ended in a loss at four weeks.

They decided to try IVF again and got pregnant with their rainbow baby!

Related: What Fertility Clinics Don’t Want To Admit About Weight Bias

Following the positive pregnancy test, Veronica immediately went into research mode.

As a Black woman, Veronica felt it was essential to connect with a Black female OB-GYN who would support her and provide outstanding care.

She thought she found the perfect OB-GYN!

That was until she went to her first prenatal visit, where this OB-GYN said, “I just know you’re going to have gestational diabetes and preeclampsia because of your weight, and you’re a Black woman.”

Veronica responded by saying, “How you can tell everything by just looking at me?” She was met with further pushback because of her weight.

After spending so much time researching and looking for the best possible provider – this experience was extremely disappointing.

Still, Veronica decided to give her another chance.

Related: How Nia’s Plus Size Pregnancies Changed Her Life’s Path

That was until during a phone call with her care provider when she asked about how her OB-GYN supported unmedicated labor.

Her doctor said, “You didn’t conceive naturally, so why do you want to have this baby naturally?”

In shock, Veronica responded by saying, “How did you expect me to get pregnant? I’m in a same-sex marriage!”

Veronica was livid!

She knew this care provider wasn’t the right fit for her and was terrified of how her pregnancy and birth would unfold if she didn’t switch care.

With an appointment the next week and not enough time to find a new provider, Veronica had one last prenatal visit with this provider.

Veronica emotionally prepared for this visit and took her wife with her via FaceTime.

This visit further confirmed this care provider was not going to provide her with evidence-based, compassionate care!

Related: Talking About How Social Justice And Birth Intersect

When Veronica inquired about different gestational diabetes testing options, her doctor responded by saying, “Pull up your big girl panties and just drink it!”

When Veronica questioned if the provider did episiotomies, her OB-GYN said something even more shocking.

“You’re either going to have stitches down low, or you’re going to have them on your belly.”

Thankfully, that was the final time Veronica would ever have to experience such horrible care!

It was time to find a new provider!

The first place she called, a birth center, had BMI restrictions.

While she kept researching, Veronica was on Instagram, and she saw a beautiful birth photo with a care provider looking lovingly at the family.

She immediately wanted to learn more about this local OB-GYN.

Following an hour and a half phone call with the physician’s office, she knew she had connected with the right team.

This OB-GYN offered water birth and even wrote a book on shared decision making! He was also a Black man, and this brought comfort to Veronica.

She never looked back following her decision to switch care providers at 26 weeks!

Listen in as Veronica shares her story during episode 129 of the Plus Mommy Podcast.

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 129

Resources Mentioned On The Show:

• Doctor Appointments Alone When You Are Fearful Of Fat-Shaming
• Guide to connecting with a size-friendly care provider.
• How Doulas Support Plus Size Moms
• Connect with Veronica on Instagram at @v.elle.j 
• Dr. Brad Bootstaylor at See Baby OB-GYN and on Instagram @see_baby. You can also learn more about his book – Shared Decision Making: Bring Birth Back Into The Hands Of Mothers
• Veronica’s doula was Delena Sanders and she’s on Instagram @delenathedoula.

Thank You To Our Sponsor:

This episode is also brought to you by Plus Size Birth! Use coupon code PlusMommy to receive 20% off the My Plus Size Pregnancy Guide that covers everything you could want to know about having a plus size pregnancy.

The post Don’t Be Afraid To Switch Care Providers – Veronica’s Story appeared first on Plus Mommy.

Healing Home Birth

For months on end, Salena and her wife tried to get pregnant via home insemination.

It was awkward and exhausting, but also a time full of hope.

Sadly, her wife was diagnosed with endometriosis and also had PCOS.

It was hard to grieve through the loss of her wife carrying their child, but Salena was ready to help them grow a family.

Six months later, Salena got pregnant and then experienced a heartbreaking miscarriage.

That loss took time for them to recover from as a family emotionally.

When they were ready to start trying again, they lived in a different location and found a new donor.

Selena got pregnant in the second month of trying!

She knew without hesitation that she’d be having a home birth and already had a size-friendly midwife selected.

This is her healing home birth story!

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 124

Resources Mentioned On The Show:

• Salena’s midwife recommended the book, The Essential Homebirth Guide. Here are the affirmation cards mentioned during the episode.
• You can connect with Salena via Instagram.

Thank You To Our Sponsor:

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The post Salena Shares Her Healing Home Birth Story appeared first on Plus Mommy.

As Amy shares…

Let me give you a little background on me and my story. I have been married for almost 7 years. My husband medically transitioned (FTM) about 3 years ago. We have two kids, 4 and 2.

When we first decided to have kids, Chris never intended to carry.

We tried about 8 IUIs before a doctor told me I was “too fat to carry a baby and that I was putting myself and any baby at risk”.

So I gave up and Chris attempted to carry. He got pregnant after about 5 failed IUIs and 1 very early 6-week miscarriage.

After Hayden was born I worked on my health and lost about 70 pounds. Still overweight, we switched specialists were still told I would never carry due to my size.

Thankfully, we got pregnant on the first IUI.

All through my pregnancy, I was considered “at risk” and told my pregnancy was “complicated due to my size”.

Towards the end of the pregnancy, we were told Milo was “getting too big” and they estimated him at 12 pounds. I was pressured into an induction which led to a c-section.

He was born at 8lbs.

There is so much more to our story and I’m happy to share (I’m an open book).

Related: What Fertility Clinics Don’t Want To Admit About Weight Bias

Listen below as Amy shares her and Chris’ journey to becoming parents. We also have an important conversation about inclusivity during pregnancy for LGBTQ families.

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 67 & 233

Resources Mentioned On The Show:

• Evidence on: Induction or C-section for a Big Baby?
• Q&A With A Fat-Friendly Midwife
• You can connect with Amy via her blog, Eight Square Feet, or Instagram page!

LGBTQ Pregnancy And Birth Resources

Elephant Circle
Queer Birth Project 

LGBTQ Birth Social Media Pages

Biff And I 
Love Over Fear Wellness 
Queering Health Care 
Queer Midwife
Queer and Transgender Midwives Association 
Themshealth
There are also queer parenting/pregnancy Facebook Groups

LBGTQ Books For Pregnancy And Kids  

Birth Partner 5th Edition (gender-neutral)
Queer + Pregnant: A Pregnancy Journal 
Your Orgasmic Pregnancy (not heteronormative)
What Makes a Baby 

Thank You To Our Sponsor:

Use coupon code PlusMommy to receive 20% off the My Plus Size Pregnancy Guide that covers everything you could want to know about having a plus size pregnancy.

Become a trained perinatal professional by taking the Size-Friendly Birth Course!

The post Amy’s LGBTQ Pregnancy And Birth Stories appeared first on Plus Mommy.