Parenting a teenager is a journey filled with love, growth, awkward moments, and unexpected emotional turns. As children grow into adolescents, the role of a parent evolves in ways that are both beautiful and heartbreaking. These are seven things I’ve learned, often the hard way, since entering this new chapter of motherhood.

1. Parenting a Teen Can Feel Isolating

In the early years, parenting often came with a built-in support system.

I was surrounded by friends who were also new moms, and we shared everything from breastfeeding tips to sleepless nights. We were deeply connected, and nothing felt off-limits.

But as our kids have grown, so has the silence.

With respect for my son’s privacy, I share less about my motherhood journey now, and that shift has brought me an unexpected loneliness.

It’s not that I still don’t have close friends or fellow moms I trust; it’s that some of the things I’m navigating now feel too private to share, even with them.

I find myself walking a tightrope between needing support and honoring my son’s growing independence. And that balance? It’s isolating in a way I never anticipated.

2. The Snuggles Don’t Last Forever

There was a time when I was showered in hugs and endless affection. These days, I’m lucky if I get a quick side hug.

As a parent, I’m proud of the way we’ve chosen to raise our son—especially around body autonomy and consent. From a young age, we taught that “stop” means stop, even during tickle fights. We encouraged him to trust his own boundaries and to respect others’. Now that he’s older, hugs aren’t a given anymore. I ask, “May I have a hug?” And sometimes the answer is no.

And while that stings, I remind myself: his “no” is not rejection—it’s agency.

Sure, there are moments when I miss those spontaneous snuggles so much it hurts. But raising a child who feels safe saying no, even to me, is far more important than my want for a hug.

3. Body Stuff Gets Awkward

The truth is, the body changes of adolescence bring up a lot—for them and for us.

I’ve stumbled through conversations about hygiene, hair care, and even deodorant, trying to strike the right tone.

I want to be supportive, not critical. But sometimes my words land wrong. What I meant as a helpful reminder comes across as judgment. And while I’m trying to keep the lines of communication open, I’ve learned that how I say something matters just as much as what I say.

And then there are the bigger conversations—about puberty, consent, attraction. I’ve always wanted to be the kind of parent my child could talk to about anything, and I think we’ve built a solid foundation. But that doesn’t mean these moments aren’t still awkward. They are. Sometimes painfully so.

But I’d rather wade through that discomfort than say nothing at all.

4. Diet Culture Still Sneaks In

We’ve tried to raise our son in a body-positive home. No food shaming. No diet talk.

We model acceptance and prioritize joyful movement over weight loss goals. And yet, harmful messages still sneak in—through media, peers, even well-meaning adults.

It’s frustrating to watch. And heartbreaking. I know what it’s like to grow up with body shame, and I’ve done so much work to unpack that for myself. But it’s still hard to know how to protect him when the world around him hasn’t changed much.

Sometimes, I find myself questioning everything, especially when old thought patterns try to creep back in. But I remind myself that I’m not just parenting him, I’m still reparenting myself. And doing both at once requires a lot of grace.

5. Car Rides = Connection

I’ve come to treasure our time in the car. It’s one of the few places where my teen opens up without prompting. Maybe it’s the lack of eye contact or the safety of being side by side. Whatever it is, it works.

Some of our best conversations happen during the short drive to school or running errands. I’ve learned not to force it. Just be there, ready to listen when he decides to talk.

Sometimes he surprises me with something big. Other times, it’s small stuff. But I’ve found that what matters most is simply showing up for the conversation—whatever it may be.

6. You’re Going to Mourn the Version of Who They Used to Be While Celebrating Who They Are Becoming

I miss the days of bedtime songs and little hands in mine. I miss being his safe place…his favorite person.

And yet, there’s something so powerful about watching him become who he is now. He’s sharp, insightful, hilarious, and growing more and more independent. The pride I feel watching him advocate for himself or light up talking about a new interest is unlike anything else.

It’s complicated. I can hold joy and grief at the same time. I can long for the past while feeling genuine excitement about the young adult he’s becoming.

If you’re in this phase, you’re not doing it wrong by missing what once was. Letting go of the little version of your child doesn’t make you any less present for who they are now. In fact, it might just help you love them even better.

It’s okay to miss your little buddy. It’s okay to grieve the days when you were their whole world. Missing that doesn’t mean you aren’t showing up for who they are now. It just means you loved that version of them deeply, too.

7. They Still Need You, Just Differently

No more tying shoes or bedtime stories. Now, he needs rides, reminders, and someone sitting quietly beside him without demanding conversation.

He needs space, safety, freedom, and guidance.

Sometimes, he’ll talk my ear off about anime. Other times, I’m lucky if I get a head nod. But when he needs me, really needs me, I try to show up.

It doesn’t always look like it used to, but the need is still there.

Even if they don’t ask for help the way they used to, the need is still there. It just looks different now—less obvious, more layered. Stick around. Be the steady presence in the background. It matters more than they’ll ever say out loud.

You’re doing a great job (even if it doesn’t feel like it).

Go even deeper and feel far less alone by tuning into this episode of the Plus Mommy Podcast!

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 229

Transcript happily provided upon request.

• Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture by Virginia Sole-Smith
• Dieting Does Not Work – Talking To A Dietitian About Food
• We Can Do Hard Things Audio Support

The post 7 Things I Wish I Knew Before My Kid Became a Teen appeared first on Plus Mommy.

Shari Stamps, a postpartum educator, doula, certified breastfeeding specialist, and cranial sacral therapist, shares essential tips for navigating the postpartum period.

Shari will teach you how to nurture your body, seek professional support, and maintain healthy relationships during this transformative time.

Planning for Postpartum

Postpartum planning for plus size families is critical for helping with a smooth transition into parenthood, yet it often gets overshadowed by the excitement of birth preparation.

Shari emphasizes the importance of this planning, with key postpartum tips including organizing a support system that encompasses healthcare professionals like lactation consultants, mental health providers, and postpartum doulas.

Practical preparations such as meal planning with warm, soft foods that aid digestion and setting up comfort tools like a bidet and peri bottle are also vital (especially for that first bowl movement).

Shari’s insights highlight how thoughtful postpartum planning can alleviate stress, promote healing, and provide new parents with the necessary resources to focus on nurturing their baby and themselves.

Nourishing the Postpartum Body

Shari explains the need for nutrient-rich foods to replenish the body after birth.

Warm, Soft Foods: Foods like congee and soups are easy to digest and provide essential nutrients.

Shari recommended the Ayurvedic diet and Chinese medicinal foods, which help keep the body warm and aid in digestion.

These foods are particularly beneficial for ensuring a gentle and healthy first bowel movement after birth, which can be a daunting experience for new mothers.

Meal Planning: Having meals prepared ahead of time can alleviate stress and ensure proper nutrition. Organize a pantry party or ask friends and family to contribute meals.

Postpartum Tips for Comfort

Shari provided several practical tips to enhance comfort during the postpartum period.

Bidet and Peri Bottle: Using a bidet can significantly improve comfort and hygiene during postpartum recovery.

Shari also recommended having a peri bottle to clean gently after using the bathroom, which can be soothing and help reduce discomfort.

Along with stool softeners and warm, nourishing food, these tools can make the first few bowel movements after birth less daunting and more comfortable.

Padsicles: A padsicle is a menstrual pad infused with soothing ingredients, such as sitz bath tea, and then frozen. It provides cooling relief and reduces inflammation.

Padsicles are beneficial for both vaginal and cesarean births to help soothe the perineal area or the c-section scar, making bathroom trips more comfortable.

Craniosacral Therapy: Shari introduced craniosacral therapy (CST), a modality she has been training in for several years.

CST works with the fascia, the connective tissue surrounding muscles and bones, to release tension and promote healing.

CST can address issues like torticollis, reflux, and oral ties in infants, as well as support postpartum mothers. Releasing stored trauma and tension can lead to improved physical and emotional well-being.

Building a Supportive Postpartum Care Team

Shari emphasized the importance of creating a comprehensive postpartum care team during pregnancy, which should include mental health providers, lactation consultants, pediatric dentists, and postpartum doulas.

Mental Health Providers: Regular check-ins with a mental health professional can help manage postpartum depression and anxiety.

Lactation Consultants: Early support from a lactation consultant can address breastfeeding challenges and improve outcomes.

Pediatric Dentists: Early evaluation can identify and address oral ties and other issues affecting feeding.

Postpartum Doulas: A postpartum doula can assist with various tasks, provide emotional support, and help parents navigate the early days with a newborn.

One of the key takeaways from our conversation was the importance of seeking professional support early on.

While services like lactation consultations might seem expensive, they can save parents significant time, money, and stress in the long run. Shari encouraged parents to reach out for help and utilize available resources.

Setting Boundaries and Maintaining Relationships

Shari also discussed the importance of setting boundaries with friends and family and maintaining open communication with partners.

She advised parents to check in regularly with each other, reassessing their needs and expectations as they navigate the challenges of parenthood.

Shari’s wealth of knowledge and compassionate approach to postpartum care make her an invaluable resource for new parents. Learn more during this informative podcast episode!

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 220

Transcript happily provided upon request.

Resources Mentioned On The Show

• Connect with Shari Stamps via her website, Navigating Parenthood, and on Instagram.
• Size-Friendly Birth, size-inclusivity training for birth workers.

Shari Stamps is a neurodivergent mom of six and founder of Navigating Parenthood where she offers content, courses, consults, and virtual services to families worldwide, as well as in-person services to families local to Central Valley California. She calls herself a Mom & Baby Specialist because she combines her years of training and certifications to help expecting & postpartum families from a whole health, whole heart functional practice perspective.

The post Practical Postpartum Tips: From Bowel Movements to Boundaries appeared first on Plus Mommy.

Weight bias becomes evident when healthcare providers excessively focus on a patient’s weight, overshadowing the primary purpose of their visit.

During a doctor’s visit for an eye infection, 71-year-old Kathryn was taken aback as the doctor focused on her weight. He even went as far as suggesting that she would be an ideal candidate for weight loss surgery.

Experiencing Weight Bias at the Doctor’s Office

Kathryn visited the doctor for an eye infection, expecting a quick and straightforward visit. However, things unexpectedly changed when the doctor immediately brought up her weight before even examining her eye.

This doctor questioned whether her primary care physician adequately supported her weight loss efforts. In response, Kathryn shared how she had successfully implemented healthy lifestyle changes over two years, leading to notable yet steady weight loss. She also expressed how this transformation had immensely benefited her and her husband.

Despite Kathryn’s objections, the doctor persisted in recommending weight loss surgery or medications, boasting about his position as the head of weight loss for all of Southern California under her HMO.

Kathryn felt unheard, as the doctor seemed more focused on promoting his approach rather than considering her overall health or the purpose of her visit. Despite sharing her past experiences with other programs offered by the HMO, which resulted in short-term weight loss followed by weight regain, the doctor didn’t appear to take those experiences into account.

Finally, she had enough and directed his attention to her eye infection.

Despite the doctor’s thorough examination, Kathryn remains unconvinced of his diagnosis and is also concerned about the safety of the ointment he recommended for use around her eye.

Throughout the appointment, she felt unheard and disrespected when she asked him to refrain from discussing weight loss interventions, and he kept pushing. Weeks have passed since Kathryn had this appointment, yet she thinks about it daily.

The Impact of Weight Bias

Weight bias in healthcare can profoundly affect a patient’s emotional well-being and willingness to seek routine health care.

Even if the doctor had given Kathryn helpful recommendations, individuals often tend to shut down and ignore the advice when they’ve experienced shaming from their healthcare providers. Such negative encounters can make it challenging for them to remain open to further guidance, regardless of its potential value.

In fact, research indicates that those who feel shame are less inclined to seek routine healthcare and more likely to experience weight gain.

Advocacy Strategies When Confronted with Weight Bias in Healthcare

Here’s how Kathryn intends to advocate for herself moving forward, and these are tips you might find helpful, too.

Clear Communication

In future appointments, Kathryn plans to request that her medical chart include a note indicating that she does not wish to discuss weight loss surgery or weight loss medications. Nor does she ever want to see that doctor again. 

Focus on the Main Concern

She will prioritize discussing her primary health concerns first, redirecting the conversation immediately to any issue requiring attention.

Being Weighed is Optional, Not Required

If a future appointment does not require weight measurement, as most don’t, Kathryn knows she has the right to decline to step on the scale. 

Reducing Stress

To ensure accurate blood pressure readings, if it’s elevated at the start of her appointment, Kathryn will request to have her blood pressure checked at the end. This will give her sufficient time to relax and speak with her healthcare provider.

Decompress

Lastly, Kathryn takes proactive steps to fully decompress and prevent this traumatic experience from lingering within her. She accomplishes this by confiding in loved ones and sharing what happened with her primary care provider. Additionally, she may choose to send an email to the care provider who caused distress, and she might even consider contacting customer support to file a report about the incident. By taking these measures, she strives to release the burden of the experience and be better prepared for possible future encounters.

Healthcare providers must recognize and address weight bias, ensuring all patients receive the best possible care, free from judgment and stigma.

Kathryn’s experience sheds light on addressing weight bias in healthcare and advocating for patient-centered care. And she hopes to inspire others to be more assertive in seeking the care they deserve. 

Don’t miss Kathryn sharing her story in her own words during episode 210 of the Plus Mommy Podcast. As the mother of Jen McLellan, the podcast’s host, she brings a unique perspective and personal insights to the conversation.

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 210

Transcript happily provided upon request.

Resources Mentioned On The Show

• Will My Doctor Fat-Shame Me? 4 Game-Changing Advocacy Tips
• Truth About Diets and Weight Loss Drugs with Ragen Chastain

The post Navigating Weight Bias at the Doctor’s Office: A Personal Account appeared first on Plus Mommy.

Dark mafia romance author Meaghan Pierce discusses the need for more plus size heroines and plus size romance novels. In addition, she delves into a conversation about how representation leads to stronger self-advocacy and unpacking of internalized fat-phobia.

The Need for Plus Size Romance Novels

Romance novels transport readers into captivating love stories. And at some point, while flipping through thousands of titillating pages, everyone wants to see themselves represented.

In a world where societal beauty standards often exclude those who do not conform to a narrow ideal, plus size romance novels offer a refreshing and empowering perspective.

These novels challenge stereotypes and promote body positivity by featuring plus size heroines. In addition, they send a powerful message that love and desire are not confined to a specific body type but are universal experiences!

Mafia Romance Author Meaghan Pierce

Meaghan Pierce believes the portrayal of plus size heroines in romance novels help to break down harmful stereotypes and misconceptions.

Plus size people have hot sex and don’t constantly obsess over their weight! But many fat characters in books come across in very self-deprecating ways.

Plus size romance novels create a new narrative!

As Meaghan shares, “If we can suspend reality, for dragons, and, you know, a fae and mafia people who don’t get arrested, then surely, we can also put in a plus sized character who’s not constantly obsessing about their weight.”

For Meaghan, her journey to writing plus size heroines has come from working hard to address her internalized fat phobia.

“Realize that a lot of the stuff that you know about your body is either not true or is so deeply ingrained that it has taken a lifetime for you to learn those things.”

She found helpful insights from resources like the podcast Maintenance Phase and going to therapy.

Now Meaghan thoughtfully writes romance novels with plus size characters that she’s proud of and sees a piece of herself within the pages.

Listen as author Meagah shares her story during episode 202 of the Plus Mommy Podcast.

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 202

Transcript happily provided upon request.

Resources Mentioned On The Show

• Connect with Meaghan Pierce and learn more about her books via her website, TikTok and Instagram.

Meaghan Pierce is a dark mafia romance author who published her first book in March 2022. She loves her heroes morally gray and her heroines strong and feisty. If given a chance, she’ll fall in love with the villain every time. When she isn’t getting lost between the pages of a book, you can find her in West Michigan enjoying a cup of hot cocoa, a good drama on TV, and kitty snuggles.

The post Representation in Plus Size Romance Novels with Meaghan Pierce appeared first on Plus Mommy.

Bonnie helped pave the way for postpartum images like the one below to be proudly shared all over the internet.

The Story Behind The Shape Of A Mother

Bonnie always expected to get stretchmarks during pregnancy, as they appeared during puberty. But she didn’t think stretchmarks would spread from her shoulders to her toes.

And nothing prepared her for how her belly sagged after she had her second child.

In the early 2000s, Bonnie didn’t see images online of postpartum bellies like hers. While Facebook was a popular social media site, people weren’t sharing images of their postpartum bodies as they do today.

One fateful day, while out to eat with her family, she noticed a woman’s postpartum belly that looked a lot like hers. This prompted Bonnie to talk with friends about their bodies after having babies.

One of her friends shared an image of their bottom covered in stretch marks. When Bonnie saw the picture, she felt less alone and knew other mothers needed to feel the same way.

So, in 2006, Bonnie launched the website “The Shape of a Mother.”

As Bonnie shares on her website, “It is my dream, then, to create this website where women of all ages, shapes, sizes, and nationalities can share images of their bodies so it will no longer be secret. So we can finally see what women really look like sans airbrushes and plastic surgery.” 

Within a week of launching, “The Shape of a Mother” went viral, and Bonnie’s inbox was flooded with photo submissions.

Celebrating All Postpartum Bodies

Bonnie’s site currently holds over 2,500 images and heartfelt stories of people sharing (and celebrating) their postpartum bodies.

Over the years, her website traffic has slowed as many other resources are available. But it’s incredible to know that hers was the first website to normalize the strength and beauty of postpartum bodies.

Bonnie loves seeing how the conversation around postpartum bodies has shifted. She’s clear that her work isn’t just for cis women; it’s for all postpartum people!

Tune in as Bonnie shares her story and wisdom about body image during episode 195 of the Plus Mommy Podcast.

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 195

Transcript happily provided upon request.

Resources Mentioned On The Show

• Connect with Bonnie via her website, Facebook, or Instagram.
• Support The Shape of a Mother via Patreon.

Bonnianne Ratliff is an autistic activist committed to intersectional feminism. She is a single mom to two teenagers in Southern California. Bonnie graduated from San Diego State University in 2018 with a degree in English and a minor in Women’s Studies. She started The Shape of a Mother in July of 2006 because she saw that there was a distinct lack of representation of realistic postpartum bodies in the media at the time. Bonnianne also uses the site as a platform to educate about feminism and related topics through her series on Badass Bitches From History and her educational info posts and flyers. In her free time, Bonnianne likes to play Animal Crossing way too much or give her teens a cultural education by making them watch old John Hughes movies.

The post The Shape Of A Mother – A Conversation About Postpartum Bodies appeared first on Plus Mommy.

Fiona joins us from London to tell her heart-wrenching and powerful story!

Growing up, Fiona wasn’t sure she wanted to have kids. That was until the age of eleven. Then, she dreamed that she was an older woman with gray dreadlocks surrounded by a cluster of grandchildren.

At 30, she met her wonderful partner Jack.

And at 37, she was pregnant, but sadly, she experienced a loss during the first trimester.

That loss was a surprise pregnancy, as Fiona often heard, “fat people can’t get pregnant very easily.” But, while this pregnancy was unplanned, it confirmed for Fiona and Jack that they wanted to become parents.

A few weeks later, she was pregnant with their daughter Romona.

Pregnancy Story

With a history of mental health struggles, Fiona knew she could have negative thoughts about her body and worried about her anxiety.

She wanted to know she wasn’t alone in all she was feeling. But it was frustrating to go online or pick up a magazine and not see another fat Black pregnant woman like her represented.

It was also extremely difficult to find plus size maternity clothes she liked in her size.

During her first prenatal visit, she was not only called a “geriatric mom,” but the nurse made a big deal about her weight.

Recovering from the recent loss, the treatment she received was overwhelming, and she wished people were kinder. Fiona briefly questioned her ability to have a healthy outcome as a fat Black pregnant woman. But thankfully, that didn’t last long because being pregnant felt so right!

Her husband, Jack, was a great support system and helped Fiona keep her chin up.

Throughout her pregnancy, she continued to search for people who looked like her. And while there wasn’t much, the stories she did find often had a negative slant.

Meanwhile, the stories she read in pregnancy magazines were full of white women sharing their joyful experiences. So, Fiona pondered, ‘where is that carefree mum magazine for people like me?’

Due to her BMI, the National Health Services (England’s healthcare system) protocol was to transfer her care to a team supporting plus size pregnancies. This never happened.

During Fiona’s pregnancy, the care team she had was hypervigilant about weight gain and said having a cesarean birth would be very dangerous due to her size. This terrified her husband! They also struggled to measure the baby’s size accurately and made concerning comments that her baby would be very large.

Birth Story

The day Romona was born was the day the lockdown started in 2020. However, that’s no excuse for the fatphobia and racism she experienced as a fat Black pregnant woman.

Fiona’s mom noticed her hands were swollen four days before her due date. So, with concerns about preeclampsia, they went to the hospital. And when they arrived, Fiona’s blood pressure wasn’t alarming, but her care team recommended an induction and admitted her since it was so close to her due date.

So that day, on a Friday, the induction process began. By Sunday, they broke her water, and on Monday, Romona was born via an emergency cesarean birth.

Her care team had drilled into her and Jack’s heads that a c-section would be extremely dangerous. So, Jack was terrified for the love of his life and his daughter.

Thankfully, the birth went well, but what unfolded next was shocking.

Postpartum Trauma

With a global pandemic occuring, the hospital staff was in chaos throughout her labor, but Fiona remained blissfully unaware. However, once Romona was born, she became very aware as hospital policies kept shifting. Due to this, Jack had to leave, but he slept on the floor unnoticed until the morning. He didn’t want to leave his girls, but was forced to go.

Fiona remembers looking at her legs, which were much larger than usual. She showed at least two care providers and didn’t feel heard, so she stated, “I know I’m fat, but I’m not this fat. This is not what my legs look like.” Unfortunately, it took becoming very ill before anyone acted.

While Fiona understood the state of the world at the time, there was a lot about the lack of treatment she received that was utterly wrong.

Statistically, the Black maternal mortality rate is 2 – 3 times higher than white women. And there are countless stories of Black people’s medical concerns not being taken seriously. Heartbreaking accounts of Black women dying following childbirth because care providers didn’t listen!

Then there are also studies to show a medical bias against people of size by the healthcare community.

Romona was born on a Monday and by Wednesday Fiona’s preeclampsia led to septic shock and organ failure. Change needs to occur because she could’ve died!

Today, Fiona is trying to bring more representation for fat black pregnant womxn! Hear her story in her own words during episode 185 of the Plus Mommy Podcast.

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 185

Transcript happily provided upon request.

Resources Mentioned On The Show

• Connect with Fiona via Instagram and her website.
• Preparing For Pregnancy Ultrasounds When You’re Plus Size

The post Fat Black Pregnant – Fiona’s Powerful Story And Fight For Change appeared first on Plus Mommy.

Here are five helpful tips for bringing fantastic people into your family’s life!

How To Make Friends With Other Moms

Here are five steps for making mom friends, and the first one might surprise you!

1. Get Prepared For Making Mom Friends 

Many articles about how to make mom friends start by sharing places to meet other moms.

And while that’s a big piece to the making mom friends puzzle, it’s not the first place to start, in my opinion.

I’d encourage you to start by asking yourself the questions below!

Am I ready to make new friends? 

You’re tapping into this information, so the answer is likely YES! However, this is still a helpful question if you’re searching for quality mom friendships. 

If you’re in a tough spot emotionally, financially, or otherwise, you might want to wait before trying to develop new friendships. 

By no means does your life need to look picture-perfect! For example, if you’re going through a hardship like a divorce, you can make wonderful friendships with fellow moms walking in your shoes. And Facebook groups for divorced moms are a good starting place. 

But if you feel like your life is crumbling around you, it might not be the best time to try and attract the right type of people into your world. So, fix anything significant with the support of your tried-and-true friends and family.

Do I have time for new friends?

Once you’ve established you’re ready to make new friends; it’s time to make sure you can fit them into your busy life.

While this might start to sound like I’m giving you dating advice, you’re not that far off. Any relationship takes time and effort to flourish.

So, pull up your calendar and see where you have spots available for future friendship dates.

What are my friendship nonnegotiables? 

Yup, we’re going here – because it’s essential!

Inviting people from all walks of life into your bubble is beautiful! However, there are some core values you’ll want to be aligned with – especially if these people will spend time around your children.

As a plus size mom, I don’t want fatphobic people in my life. So I don’t want to be friends with people who are always talking about dieting and making me feel ashamed of my body. But I’d love a walking buddy who doesn’t mind meeting me at my slower pace!

See the difference?

I don’t want anyone who is racist, sexist, or homophobic in my family’s life regularly. Unfortunately, it can sometimes be challenging to assess these things during a few playdates. So I’m always keeping an ear out and hoping for the best, but unafraid to end unhealthy friendships.

So, think about what type of people you want to attract into your life. Of course, you can be an acquaintance with anyone, but know without a doubt what values you won’t compromise on when letting someone into your bubble.

What does my social media say about me? 

Like it or not, prospective mom friends will scope out your social media to see if you’re someone they’d like to get to know or not. And you should do the same! 

The content you shared on social media five years ago might not align with your current values. And while you might assume no one sees anything you shared years ago, social media is forever! 

For example, while most people have private Facebook pages and think their content is pretty locked down, there’s still a public view. So, you know that one meme on Facebook you’d never share currently but did in the past? It might appear in your feed if marked public. 

You can follow these steps from Facebook to see your public view, and anything marked “public” and not “friends” will pop up. Yes, even possibly things from years ago. 

And don’t just look at Facebook; spend time on all of your social media outlets. Ask yourself, “would I want to be friends with this person?”

Now, you sure don’t want to curate your feed to represent you as someone you’re not – but you can do a little housecleaning. 

And while you’re looking at your social media, give yourself a Google, too! 

2. How To Make Mom Friends In Your Area Or Online 

Technically you can make a new mom friend pretty much anywhere. But the odds of a two-minute conversation in the checkout lane at your grocery store turning into a flourishing friendship is slim. So, below you’ll see popular options for meeting your new mom bestie. 

Before we begin, by all means, please don’t walk away from meeting a prospective new friend without asking for their contact information. So, that’s another reason why you’ll want to audit your social media before searching for a new best friend. It’s often easier to ask if someone is on Facebook or Instagram rather than asking for their phone number. 

Okay, now that we’ve established that you won’t depart from making a great connection without a way actually to connect, let’s proceed. 

Social Media 

These days, social media is one of the most common places we build and sustain friendships – and there’s nothing wrong with that!

Social media makes connecting with like-minded individuals easy by joining groups like “Attachment Parents” for those who like the attachment parenting philosophy.

So, after establishing your friendship nonnegotiables, consider what parenting groups you’d like to join (bonus points if they are local).

Once you join a group, the more you engage, the higher the odds you’ll hit a friendship jackpot.

Kid’s School/Activities 

It’s fantastic to get our kids engaged with activities. But while you’re taking photos for the grandparents or catching up on social media – put down the phone and look around. See if you spot another solo mom looking for some company. 

Another option is to volunteer with whatever activities your kids are involved with or at their school. You’ll make more connections this way and have opportunities to develop friendships. Plus, it feels good to be a volunteer. 

The following might not be a popular opinion, but I encourage you to say yes to any birthday party invites! Depending on the age of your children, many people drop the kiddos off and enjoy a little me-time. Instead, hang around and even offer the hostess a helping hand. You might develop a friendship then and there!  

Social Groups (online & in-person) 

Social groups are the tried and true way to find mom friendships (or a date), be it your church or knitting group.

So, consider your interests, from books to blogging. Then go onto sites like Meetup.com to connect locally or in online spaces you’ve vetted and feel good joining.

And if you have a little one, there are many mommy and me meetup groups to join.

Your Neighborhood

Lastly, look no further than your backyard. Depending on the walkability of your neighborhood, consider spending more time outside with the kiddos. Be on the lookout for other parents, from your front yard to neighborhood parks.

And once a friendly-looking mom is spotted, build up the courage to introduce yourself!

3. Plan to Meet

Where to meet in person for the first time?

Once you’ve connected with someone new, they might surprise you by reaching out first to set up a time to get together. But no worries if they don’t; we’ve got you even if you’re an introvert trying to make mom friends.

So, you’ve met a prospective mom friend, have their info, and now it’s time for your first date…play date, that is!

If your kids are around the same age, it’s easy to use the kids as an excuse to get together. You can suggest meeting at a park, library, mall play area, or other accessible spaces.

If their kids aren’t the same age, or you need a break from the kiddos, going to a coffee shop is a great first friend date, in my experience.

Coffee shops naturally allow people to place their orders, so there’s no awkwardness over the check. It’s also a fine space to stay until you’ve taken your last sip if things aren’t going great. Or sit for hours if you’ve made a fantastic connection.

By all means, do a lunch date if you want. However, avoid inviting someone over or going to their home until you’ve met a few times in public. Safety, first!

Side note: as a plus size mom making friends, I like the ability to select the location we meet so I don’t have to worry about seating not being accommodating. But, if someone invites me somewhere new, I jump onto Google to scope out photos of their seating options long before I arrive.

From your favorite park, library story time, or coffee shop to your favorite lunch spot – pull yourself out of your comfort zone and set up that first meetup! The worst someone can say is no; the best outcome is a new best friend, and that’s worth the fear of rejection.

What about connecting with online friends in real life (IRL)?

Posting about a meetup in a local mom’s Facebook group is often met with a lot of excitement. But not much follow-up! So, unless you’re an extrovert who loves event planning, consider seeing what family-friendly events are coming up in your community.

Then do a post in the local group asking who is planning to attend. Next, coordinate a time and place to meet at the event. You might not have a big turnout the first time, but continue to post (and share pictures of events).

You would’ve attended the event with or without planning a meetup. So, take things as they flow and try again if you don’t immediately make a new mom friend.

How can I meet my online friends virtually?

Social media friendships are genuine. However, the text typed on your phone has no tone. So, I encourage you to meet to get to know one another on a whole new level.

Since that’s not always geographically possible, set up a Zoom or FaceTime date.

You can see one another immediately if you’re already communicating via Facebook messenger. Simply tap the video camera on the top right and connect on a deeper level. Just be sure to give your friend a heads up or plan a video date in advance.

There are fun ways to connect virtually with friends old and new. Consider setting up a Netflix Watch Party. Or do a canvas painting via a YouTube tutorial and then show your masterpieces via video.

4. Cultivate Mom Friendships 

All relationships take work, especially quality mom friendships! That’s why I asked you to ensure you had time for new friends before beginning the search.

Following your first meetup, you’ll want to keep reaching out if you’d like to pursue the friendship. Now, everyone is busy so don’t feel rejected if you can’t get together immediately. Set realistic expectations for mom friends, so hopefully, you can start with a monthly playdate.

Between in-person meetups, engage with their social media and send them a random mom meme that makes you think of them or a TikTok. Be sure you’re aware of the best way to remain in touch. For example, anxious moms might not like to communicate via text because they might feel like they need to respond right away. Facebook Messenger is a bit less intrusive and often preferable.

I hope your new friendship blossoms into something special that you’ll cherish forever!

5. Evaluate Your Friendships 

“People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” – Brian Chalker

This quote is a tough pill to swallow when a friendship you thought would last forever ends in a season. But remember that there are only so many hours in a day. So, the older we get (and the more activities our kids enroll in), we realize the benefits of quality over quantity.

And quality friendships often last a lifetime!

Even if you’ve invested a year into a friendship that started magically, it’s okay to let go if it’s currently feeling like a chore. And you can do that by stopping being the one always to reach out. That person will eventually contact you if you have a lasting friendship.

Setting healthy boundaries with friends isn’t always easy, but it’s critical.

Devote extra time to those who enrich your life, and you’ll be amazed at how much of a positive impact these relationships will make.

You’ve got this, and I hope these tips help you to welcome the most fantastic people into your life!

Learn even more by listening to episode 178 of the Plus Mommy Podcast below.

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 178

Transcript happily provided upon request. 

The post How To Make Mom Friends – 5 Tips For Quality Friendships appeared first on Plus Mommy.

Claudia is a go-getter entrepreneur whose passion is contagious, and you’ll feel inspired by her story!

Growing up in the melting pot of Los Angeles, Claudia was surrounded by diversity.

However, around the age of 10, she realized that she didn’t often see her neighbors represented in the media. Claudia also noticed that little girls like her with brown skin weren’t in many illustrations or represented at stationery stores.

She would get so excited whenever she could find a Barbie with skin like hers amongst the other light-skinned dolls.

As Claudia got older, she started drawing her diverse friends as cute little characters for fun. And when she went to college, she realized her illustrations could become something so much more!

Claudia jumped into the workforce after school. But, she kept working on “her girls” as she calls her drawings. She soaked up as much knowledge as possible, from designing greeting cards to textiles for popular Disney toys.

With her go-getter spirit, she connected with mentors and attended networking events. And then, she brought her Hola Mijas Bonitas stationery brand to life!

Listen as below Claudia Ramos shares her story!

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 169

Transcript happily provided upon request. 

Resources Mentioned On The Show:

• Connect with Claudia Ramos on Instagram at @holamijasbonitas and @claudiaramosdesigns. And @claudiaramosdesigns on TikTok.
• Shop Hola Mijas Bonitas and get 10% off with code PLUSMOMMY
• And we mentioned the episode – Making Lola – A Short Film That Speaks To Every Plus Size Woman

The post Claudia Ramos Shares The Beauty Of Diversity With Latinx Illustrations appeared first on Plus Mommy.

Following the birth of her daughter, Emory, Adiba found herself in the throes of postpartum depression. While struggling silently, she wrote humorous articles about motherhood.  

After finally reaching out for support and getting therapy, Adiba opened up to her community about her depression. In turn, so many women came forward with shared experiences. This wasn’t the first time Adiba used her voice to help others feel alone, and it sure wouldn’t be the last. 

Adiba’s first book, Meet ClaraBelle Blue came out in 2013. This book was born out of frustration that she didn’t see her daughter represented in children’s books during a fateful trip to a book store. 

She searched for children’s books featuring characters with disabilities and couldn’t find any featuring children, let alone a Black girl on the cover.

After finding one Little Critter book featuring a character who was disabled, Adiba said, “My kid is not a critter. What about the kid who is looking to be included?”

And in true Adiba Nelson fashion, she rage-wrote a children’s book featuring a Black girl in a wheelchair in ten minutes! 

Related: What Happens When You See Bodies That Look Like Yours Represented

At first, she thought this book was just for her daughter. But, once her cousin read it, he knew it needed to be everywhere and connected her with an illustrator. 

She went on the hunt for an agent, but everyone turned her away. One publisher even said the world wasn’t ready for this story. So, Adiba self-published on May 4th, 2014. Meet ClaraBelle Blue has sold over 6,000 copies and is in many countries. 

Along with writing, another passion of Adiba’s is burlesque. And for over six years, until she recently retired, she proudly took the stage to help celebrate more diverse bodies. 

When she started, she didn’t see any Black plus size women who looked like her performing burlesque in her hometown of Tuscon, Arizona. So, she felt deeply called to represent herself and her daughter. As Adiba wanted to learn to fully love her body to teach her daughter how to love herself – and burlesque did just that! 

From the burlesque stage to the TedEx stage, Adiba moved hearts and minds. 

Related: Actor Jen Ponton Dishes About Dietland, Fat Activism, And More

In 2018, what she thought would be a two-minute interview turned into a documentary about her life called The Full Nelson.

Never in her wildest dreams did she think this documentary would become an Emmy nominee. Let alone an Emmy award-winning documentary!

And now, her debut novel, “Ain’t That A Mother”, drops in May of 2022. 

Listen as Adiba shares her story in her own words and hear excerpts from her book, thanks to Blackstone Publishing, during episode 159 of the Plus Mommy Podcast. 

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 159

Transcript happily provided upon request. 

Resources Mentioned On The Show:

• Connect with Adiba Nelson via her website, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.
• Learn about Meet ClaraBelle Blue.
• Pre-order “Ain’t That A Mother” from Blackstone Publishing.

Adiba Nelson is an author, screenwriter, retired burlesque performer, disability rights advocate, and most recently, subject of the Emmy winning documentary, The Full Nelson. She wrote and self-published her first children’s book, Meet ClaraBelle Blue in 2013. Adiba’s memoir, “Ain’t That A Mother”, is currently available for preorder and will be available everywhere books are sold May 3, 2022.

The post Adiba Nelson – Inclusion And Empowerment From The Stage To The Page appeared first on Plus Mommy.

Jisela Delgado The Challenge

On April 1, 2021, The Challenge reality TV show aired a new season called All Stars with many longtime fan favorites, including Jisela Delgado.

A noticeable difference with this new season is how cast members have aged.

Along with wrinkles, we also see cellulite – and we are here for it!

It’s refreshing to see larger bodies on reality TV. Including Jisela, who completely dominates the first episode!

As Jisela shares, “Weight has always been a part of my persona. And I was always very proud of my body. And I always talked about, you know, I talked about my hips and my butt because I knew it was like the elephant in the room.”

It’s hard to believe she was considered larger back in the early 2000s. But she was, and now that she currently exists in a plus size body, she doesn’t allow it to define her or her body’s abilities.

“I didn’t allow it to intimidate me. So one of the greatest things that I’m going to tell you, and I don’t think other people know, Challenge houses don’t have mirrors. We only have one mirror, and it’s in your bathroom.”

The lack of mirrors helps keep the cameras out-of-site and allows cast members to focus less on their outer appearance.

Related: Project Runway Winner Ashley Nell Tipton Tells Her Story

Jisela’s first experience with reality TV was The Real World/Road Rules Casting Special in 2000. She applied to be a cast member to support a friend who wanted to be on the show.

While Jisela thought she wasn’t in the running, she was selected first to be a cast member for the 10th season of Road Rules.

This was the first time Road Rules had a new rule – if the cast lost two challenges in a row, they had to vote someone off.

Jisela went down in history as the first cast member ever voted off the show.

Related: Christina Wells America’s Got Talent Semifinalist Tells Her Story

She would go onto appear as a special guest during the Real World Season 10 and be a cast member during three seasons of The Challenge; Battle of the Seasons, Battle of the Sexes, and The Gauntlet 2.

The Gauntlet 2 ended in 2005, and Jisela turned down other casting opportunities until MTV stopped calling.

That was until this year!

Listen below, or via your favorite podcast app, to episode 144 of the Plus Mommy Podcast. Jisela Delgado looks back in time and talks about her journey! She also provides helpful tips for people who are struggling with body image.

Recording & Show Notes: Plus Mommy Podcast Episode 144

Resources Mentioned On The Show:

• Connect with Jisela Delgado on her Instagram and Twitter.
• The Challenge All Stars airs on Paramount Plus on Thursdays.
• The Real World/Road Rules Casting Special

Thank You To Our Sponsor:

Use coupon code PlusMommy to receive 20% off the My Plus Size Pregnancy Guide that covers everything you could want to know about having a plus size pregnancy.

The post Jisela Delgado of MTV’S The Challenge Shares Her Fascinating Story appeared first on Plus Mommy.